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Sorry for not posting in a few day but I've been busy wanting to shoot myself.
At 7:00am Monday morning I started my job at TeleTech, a call center in Mount Pearl, and by 7:05am began trying to think of inventive ways to kill myself. By 7:15 I wasn't worried about it being inventive just as long as it worked.
That place just drains energy from people. Well most people. My "trainer" actually thrives on the place and the diluted sense of grandeur she receives from being a "trainer". She's not even a real trainer, she's training to be a trainer. I swear I haven't been this patronized in a classroom since I was 10 years old. But luckily where she's just doing her certification we get to assess her, and believe me, it wont be pretty.
The people in the training class with me are cool enough. Well, enough of them are to make it tolerable at least on a social scale. I think we found the set crew that will be taking advantage of the two can dine for $5 at the Burger King down the road.
But back to the soul sucking, and when I say sucking, I mean in the bad, non-happy ending way. It's sad to see talented people wasting away there. A friend of mine, who referred me, is a talented writer, and he's told me he just hasn't been inspired to do any writing since he started there. I understand, because if it wasn't for this little expose berating the place I wouldn't be writing now either.
I've already gone on one new job interview since I started there, unfortunately the position I was applying for isn't available but they have me on a list. I have two more resumes out that I'm waiting to hear on and the determination to get the eff out of TeleTech before I finish the four weeks of training. I've got meetings to take and all kinds of prospects in the air. Fingers crossed people.
But all this bitching isn't helping, I've got to try to be more positive...I'm positive the place is horrible. There we go.
A couple updates-
Roger Sellars, master marketeer stepped up to the logo challenge. He did several banners for me, especially when I started asking him to tweak it for me and this is the outcome:
I think it's pretty darn snazzy. I don't have it put up as the banner yet but I do have the logo put over there in the corner. Feel free to use it if you want to link the site. And thanks again Roger!
Also, my roommate Dennis went to the Village Mall today. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he told me it was because his buddy had to go to SportChek to get a squash racket. Thus proving me awesome again.
BOO!
Scared you didn't I? No? Oh well. Either way here is this weeks Halloween entry. This weeks post is about costumes.
There's a lot of great ideas for Halloween costumes out there. I prefer the classics; your vampires, superheroes, ghosts, and monsters that kind of thing. Sometimes throwing in a popular movie character for good measure. While this year's current choice "Maverick" is indeed an awesome one, it's not really what I want. In the recent past some of my costumes have been re-hashed based on time restrictions and lack of resources. Here's the complete list:
2005 - Clark Kent (I had planned on Darkwing Duck but the costume fell through at the last minute so I re-suited up)
2004 - Don Vito Chorleone
2003 - Clark Kent
2002 - The Devil
2001 - Silent Bob
2000 - The Wolf Man
1999 - The Ghost Faced Killer (I'm not proud of the back to back Scream Killer years, but it was the late 90's and I was trying to be cool and indifferent)
1998 - The Ghost Faced Killer
1997 - Gothic Vampire
1996 - Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
1995 - The Headless Horseman
1994 - Dracula
1993 - Commander William T. Riker
1992 - Batman
1991 - Robin Hood
1990 - Dracula
1989 - Batman
1988 -1984 Pre-kindergarten costumes included Batman, the Wolf Man, a bunny, and something else, but I don't remember because I was really little
There's always the concept of multi-costuming. I mean, there's at least 2 solid nights to every weekend, and that's not counting the actual Halloween night, and possible parties throughout the week. So having a couple different costumes can't hurt. As a wise man once said, that way you "have a second chance to make a first impression."
There is a catch with Halloween costumes. Girls always have twice the costume options. This is both bad and good. It's bad because it's unfair that they have more selection than guys, but its good because the options are doubled based on the "naughty factor". This is how girls get to let down there neckline and let their slut flag fly. Not all girls take advantage of this, but enough do to make it awesome. Here's an example; a girl wants to be a witch she can be either a) a witch or b) a naughty witch. I'm not saying opting for the "naughty" choice makes you a slut, but I am saying it makes you awesome.
The Naughty Factor is something I've been praising for years, and it was even exposed on last years Halloween episode of HIMYM, which also gave me the idea for the Maverick costume. But friends will admit I've been toting the glory of the Naughty Factor for years (Byrne, I'm looking to you for validation on this).
So there you have it, the Naughty Factor. It's totally a thing.
Here is this week's homework
Watch:
The Frighteners - Before Peter Jackson became known as one of the most amazing filmmakers in the history of ever by making the Lord of the Rings trilogy he made The Frighteners. It stars Michael J Fox as a would be ghostbuster who's kind of down on his luck since, luckily for him Jake Busey shows up and starts offing people (it's important to know that Busey's character is a mass murderer who got the chair a long time before the movie takes place.) You'll notice that Busey's grim reaper like appearance is eerily similar to that of the Ring Wraiths. Either way, it should be noted that when watching the movie I noted the similar cinematography and style to LOTR only to see "Directed by Peter Jackson" show up in the credits. I only hope someday Peter Jackson and Tim Burton make a baby, because despite being a slobbish artsy nut bag, he (or she) will make the most beautifully shot scary movies ever.
Fallen - Denzel Washington stars with John Goodman in this thriller about a cop who, after witnessing the execution of a serial killer, discovers the killer was possessed by a fallen angel called Azazel who passes through host bodies by touch. Never before has someone singing the Rolling Stones "Time is on my Side" been creepier. Watch for an appearance by Codco alumn Robert Joy as one of the possessed victims.
Read:
The Vampyre - John Polidori. This one is pretty short so you'll have plenty of time to watch movies and listen to music. The background of this one is what makes it so legendary. In June of 1816 Lord Byron had a few friends stop by his villa on Lake Geneva. A challenge was issued to the guests to write a scary story. Byron wrote something no one remembers, as did Percy Shelley. Shelley's wife Mary wrote a little novel called Frankenstein and Byron's personal physician John Polidori wrote The Vampyre. The first gothic vampire story. It's about this orphan named Aubrey who winds up traveling Europe with the mysterious Lord Ruthven. I don't want to give away the plot...but Ruthven winds up being a vampire. I read an adaptation of this when I was like 10 and it holds up as one of my favorite stories.
Hear:
Witch Doctor - Mark Bragg. A local boy done good. This ain't the Witch Doctor you heard the Chipmonks squeak out when you were a kid. It's awesome though. I highly recommend checking it out. Don't download it though, buy Bear Music, support local artists.
Witchy Woman - The Eagles. You know how certain bands remind you of certain things? Well despite being the quintessential laid back California rock band, the Eagles always remind me of the fall of the year. I think it's mostly to do with how that's when their tape/CD always showed up in my Aunt Pat's car music cycle, but all the same songs like Hotel California, which is about hell, and this one, which is about, well, a witch, make for some good October listening.
Oh yeah, here's one for the phrase book.
Naughty Factor: [naw-tee fak-ter] (noun)- the doubling of Halloween costume options for females by giving them the regular option, and the naughty version of the same costume.
It's the first ever Soapbox Photoshop Challenge!
Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to pimp out the logo so the Soapbox can continue its quest to not suck. I'm thinking in the near future I might make it a legitimate website, complete with a fancy bluestarscollide.com url and other fancy things.
But, before I get that hardcore with it, I need a decent logo. I like the idea of a soapbox and megaphone, and maybe someone stood on it or something. It's really up to you. But I want it all tricked out and cool looking, maybe throw some spinners on that shit or some grond effect or... not do that at all. Like I said, totally up to you. The prize for coming up with the logo has yet to be detirmined, but it will be cool, I promise.
To enter just email your logo to michaelhickey@gmail.com
So I started my internet browsing today like I do most days, I hit up the Snowy Driveway for my daily dose of hilarity via Steph's blog and the link roll. In today's link roll there was a link simply titled 'Hit Cocaine'. Of course, like all the links I checked it out and discovered that 'Cocaine' is not just a helluva drug, it's also a new energy drink that makes Red Bull look like breast milk (ie. what a baby might drink).
The stuff is supposedly 350% stronger than Red Bull, now my 
question to you is why is that necessary and my question to me is now, will I try it? I think no, it's not necessary, but yeah, I'll probably give it a go all the same. I won't drink it as often as Red Bull, which isn't much at all, because a) it makes me feel guilty because it's supposedly so bad for you, and just a placebo and b) I have a hard time paying over $3 for a drink without alcohol in it.
My favorite tidbit of info on 'the new coke' is that the link roll of keywords generated from the article consisted of "culture, nightlife, Lindsay Lohan". Oh then I laughed...
Check it out here.
The Village Mall is only good for 3 things:
1. SportChek
2. A bus depot
3. Making you feel better about yourself
Allow me to explain further.
It has SportChek, something the Avalon Mall doesn't have. I play sports, mostly hockey, but other sports too, and it annoys the shit out of me that I can get everything I need at the Avalon short of hockey stuff. But that's not getting the Village off the hook because there's a bigger, better SportChek on Stavanger, and I can get to places like Future Shop and Wal-Mart if I go there, potentially killing multiple birds with one stone. So that's gone, leaving only two things the Village Mall is good for, one of them being a bus depot.
I think this is what the majority of people at the Village are actually doing there, waiting for a bus. Not just any bus either - a bus to Mount Pearl. It's the only place you can get a transfer to the Pearl from, but sending Route 21 all the way to the Avalon or UC could solve that problem.
Leaving people watching the only reason to go to the Village, and I use the term "people" very loosely.
Ok, I guess I should give you the backstory: today I did what anybody who is between work and can't get EI does...I got a job at a call center. Teletech actually. Why go to the one furthest away from me? Because getting there is going to be such a bitch it will annoy me into continuing the search for a better job. But anyway, on my way back I had a stopover at the Village to wait for the Route 1 and saw several things that brought about this post. Skeet Fights being first and foremost.
Sat on the curb outside the useless Sears (another redundant feature of the Village) was a row of total sketch bags randomly kicking the shit out of each other. This is ok in one sense because it thins out the herd, but completely and utterly idiotic in every other imaginable sense. Seriously, these dudes were pairing off two at a time and just wailing on each other and this one guy, who I'll assume was the "coach", was giving them tips. I actually heard the guy say to some dude who was pinned on the sidewalk "Get away from 'im. I don't care if you gotta bite him, just get out of it!"
It was when I finally managed to pull my eyes away from the train wreck that is these people's lives I saw Pugsley. It was this little kid, I'm guessing he was about 6 or so, and he was there with his dad or grandpa. Anyway, he was quite the pudgy little guy, and to make it all the more hysterical he was wearing a striped t shirt and had a buzz cut, making him look exactly like Pugsley from the Addams Family. It was trippy. But the kid was actually pretty cool. He came over to tell me all about the Route 5, which he just got a brochure on. He asked me what bus I was taking and then called out to me from across the parking lot to let me know it was coming.
But despite Pugsley turning out to be a pretty burnt little kid, the Village Mall sucks. It doesn't even have a fountain anymore. And it especially sucks when you're waiting for your bus and there's all kinds of weird people with windbreakers and fanny packs. Unfortunately, I have to be there at least twice a day until I get a job that doesn't suck. If you're hiring, please save me.
Skeet Fighter: [skeet fahy-ter] (noun) - Sadly, not a superhero dedicated to ridding the world of the evil skeet menace, but actually, a skeet who beats up on other skeets for entertainment purposes. Most often found in a public setting.
I thought I was clear of it.
After a summer spent galloping around in pirate gear singing Gilbert & Sullivan I thought I was freed of my indentures and no longer had to endure piratedom.
But, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So I figured one more day wouldn't hurt.
If you swing over to the Snowy Driveway Steph has put up links to all kinds of fun pirate stuff. Including a translator, a name generator (see above), a pirate quiz (see below), and other fun pirate-y things.
Enjoy, me hearties.
You Are A Pirate!
What Type Of Swashbuckler Are You?
brought to you by Maddog Varuka & Dawg Brown
After a long long summer it's finally here. The second season of How I Met Your Mother premiers in about an hour! I am psyched beyond repair.
When we last saw it, Ted did a rain dance so he could nail Robyn. Which he did. Good for him. But sadly, when he came home the next morning he found Marshall on the steps crying because him and Lily broke up. Sad times for Marsh. Oh, and if you read Barney's Blog, you'd have discovered that Barney's waterbed busted and he's trying to find a new bed. So that's where tonight should pick up.
I'm telling you people, this show is packing awesome. I opted out of a hockey game tonight to go over to Mercer's to watch the season premier. And if you know how much I love playing hockey, you'll realize that it's a big frigging deal for me to blow off a game to watch TV.
In the meantime try to download "Hey, Beautiful" by the Solids. The band has the show's creators in it and the last 20 seconds of the song serves as the theme to the show. *Blog five*
Apparently, stories don't start like that anymore.
Growing up I was always really in to Halloween. It shared the top spot on my favorite holidays list with Christmas my whole life, and if I got presents instead of just candy on Halloween, I would have said "Santa who?"
Something I used to do when I was younger was spend the two full months leading up to Halloween prepping for that one night. I would spend that time watching all kinds of scary movies, reading scary books, and painstakingly narrowing down costume options. I would even make family members help me decorate the house for Halloween the first day of October.
Sadly, over the last few years the Halloween of my youth has been replaced by me scrambling to find a costume at the last minute and my autumns have been filled with me studying and working rather than me getting psyched for Halloween.
I decided that this year I won't let another autumn fall to the wayside. This was brought on by the fact that I'm not in school this year, and also the fact that there's a Friday the 13th in October, something I always thought made the month all the creepier. I'm going to get psyched for Halloween the good old fashioned way. Spending the next month and a half trying to scare the bejesus out of myself.
I've tentatively decided on a costume, but I'm still open to suggestions as "Maverick from Top Gun" doesn't fit in with the theme I've set for myself of having an old school Halloween. So please feel free to leave a comment suggesting a better costume.
I'm also going to make weekly updates on my quest for a classic Halloween and also making some homework for you. I'm going to make recommendations of movies, books, and songs that should get you all in the Halloween spirit. There might even be a full Halloween mix by the time it's all done.
Here is this week's list
Watch:
The Wolf Man - Lon Chaney, Jr. as the Wolf Man is pure classic. This is the way horror movies are supposed to be complete with the dry ice fog and creepy swamp with a werewolf running around.
Monster Squad - Probably my favorite movie when I was a kid. It's about a bunch of kids who have to save the world when Dracula and the other Universal Monsters show up and try to eff shit up. It's just fun.
Read:
Haunted Shores by Dale Jarvis - the Haunted Hike guy compiled a collection of Newfoundland ghost stories. Most of them take place in St John's and theres some pretty creepy stuff. Make sure to read "A Matter of Murder" about the headless ghost of Queen's Road.
Hear:
Lucky Day in Hell - The Eels. This was a song that made it into a lot of those high school-college horror movies in the late 90's. It's just got a really eerie sound to it.
Little Red Riding Hood - Bowling for Soup. This is a cover of a song by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, the same guys who brought the world "Wooly Bully". Its basically the wolf hitting on Red. It was the opening to the movie "Cursed" in a boardwalk scene that was a lot like the opening to "The Lost Boys" which you should also watch. I like the Bowling for Soup version just because its got a fuller sound, but Sam the Sham's is probably creepier.
Up until now the closest I got to this blog having a political agenda was when I ratted out Soup for walking to work to set gas prices. Even that still kept things pretty light, and so all I'm going to say about the Gerard Kennedy logo that just got added is that I've met the man and I think he's the best person to lead the Liberal party, and hopefully Canada, so I'm proud to show my support for him.
That's enough of that, you want to read more about me being political you can check out "Baltimore Street" the joint blog I started today with my roommate Dennis. I'd put the link here for you, but the link is right over there (-->) under my profile and above the link for Soups rarely updated blog.
Again, I want to thank everyone for coming back to the Soapbox after a summer of no posts. If comments are any indication readership has actually improved, so as long as you keep reading, I'll keep giving you what you apparently like; "typical emo rants about useless topics."
I don't want to spread my creative genius too thin, but I've got a MySpace.
It was something I started back in January. New Year's Day to be exact. Which I think gives me a valid excuse, I was in pretty rough shape that day, and a MySpace seemed like a good idea. But it only seemed like a good idea for that one day, because the next time I posted in it was to inform the 3 "friends" I had in my network that I had started this blog.
Over the summer I stumbled onto the spaces of some people I knew and worked with and decided to give it another shot. So far I've added a bunch of friends, some pictures, and have written 2 blog entries. One saying I was going to try to update it more, and another one of excuses why I haven't.
I've done the usual things in terms of "friend" additions on MySpace. I added people I know, and a couple of my favorite bands. In doing so I also stumbled upon Himynameismark, Mark Hoppus (formerly of blink 182, currently of +44), and I added him. I felt kind of stupid in doing so, because it's not as though he's actually a friend of mine, and despite having access to message him and stuff now, I doubt I'll ever converse with the guy in any way, shape, or form. I just added him because the remnants of the poppunk skater kid I was in high school made me out of nostalgia.
But I also started surfing through other peoples "friends" networks and found other celebrities part of me really wanted to add, just for the sake of being able to. But I didn't because even I thought it would be stupid. It's not as though these celebrities are your actual friends, and it doesn't make you any cooler just because Paulie Shore is in your top 8. Ok, bad example, even if he was your friend it wouldn't make you cool. Lets say...Vince Vaughn*. He's cool.
I was thinking about posting this blog entry on my MySpace instead of this, but to be honest, I don't like it that much. I will however post a bulletin so all my "friends" will come here and read it.
*I was stuck for the name of a legitimately cool celebrity, so thanks to my roommate Dennis for coming up with Vince Vaughn.
Well, the response to the "Bayfriend" post was overwhelming. It prompted more comments than any other entry, and I'm glad to see readership back after all summer.
One quick note about the post though. While most of the response was good, it did prompt some criticism, which I appreciate, that's how things evole and improve. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't scramble to defend myself.
While it may have seemed like it, I wasn't calling every guy from "the bay" a bayfriend. It was meant as a term to describe guys who actually fit the description and situation, and those guys are out there.
By the way, if you troop out the long distance university thing, and actually go the distance and move in together or get married or whatever, good on ya.
I'm about to drop some knowledge on you.
In the fall of 2001, I was in grade 12 and working at Allans Video in Grand Falls-Windsor with my friend Mole. School had just started at the College of the North Atlantic and girls from out of town were coming in out of the woodwork. This is when Mole informed me of something he had recently discovered existed: The Bayfriend.
I know you must be thinking "what the eff is Mike getting on with this time?" but allow me to explain to you just what the Bayfriend is.
When very attractive young girls leave their hometowns in search of larger venues, primarily for educational purposes they often leave behind a bayfriend. He's the guy that they went out with in high school because they didn't really have any other options. This guy is usually an idiot, prone to violence, and dependant on marijuana (but in the lame wannabe-gangsta-writing-'chronic'-on-his-belongings kind of way.) To be quite frank, the girl is always out of his league and only with him because her hometown has a population of 17 and sadly, he was the best they had to offer. Also, there's a good chance they've known each other since they were 3 years old and she knew him before he was this stupid.
Either way, the guy is a pain in the ass because he hinders her enjoyment of the post secondary experience (also known as hooking up with me).
For the past five fall semesters I've kept in mind what Mole said that night in the video store, and I've noticed it's true, the Bayfriend isn't something Mole made up to frighten me. They do exist. I think I actually was one. Well, not a bayfriend in the traditional "skeetish" standards, but after I finished high school my girlfriend went on to MUN and I stayed in GF-W, and I know my existence pissed off a lot of guys in St. John's.
OH! That reminds me, there is a way to conquer the bayfriend! Just wait it out, they're usually gone by the second semester.
So add this one to your set of Mike's Terms and Phrases;
bayfriend: [bey-frend] (noun) - male companion that has been chosen but left behind by rural female when she moves to a larger center. Usually a bit of a skeet and picked not based on compatability, but on availability. Most often extinct or endangered by January.
So my summer in Trinity is over.
After 3 months of make beleive it's time to try to actually enter society, and I think I'm expected to make a contribution or something. This is kind of freaking me out.
I opted out of going back to school and decided that I want to take some time to explore the whole arts thing. You know, playing music, acting, writing and all that crap. Luckily I still have a college diploma to help me out with finding a day job. Got to pay the bills you know.
This summer was fantastic though. I met and worked with lots of great and talented people in some great shows. I was a soldier, a sailor, a pirate, and a tourist just to name a few. I didn't say much mind you, but I was there.
But the combination of the work I was doing and how much I'm enjoying the whole blogging thing has reinstilled a love for writing I forgot I had, and I've gotten full swing into it again. I started working on a play, I've written a monologue, and I did a sketch that unfortunately got cut for time, but I still wrote it. I also have a couple more ideas kicking around that will hopefully see a page before too long.
The last couple days of the summer were a bit rough and I was a bit rushed leaving, but that was my own fault. You can't dwell on the shitty stuff and have it ruin an otherwise good time. That's a concept the summer also solidified for me.
All that said I'm back to places where I can access the internet without having to walk 45 minutes to use dail up on a library that's never actually open, so I'll be back blogging more. Giving you, my adoring readers, a brief escape to the asinine every other day or so.
I think it's pretty darn snazzy. I don't have it put up as the banner yet but I do have the logo put over there in the corner. Feel free to use it if you want to link the site. And thanks again Roger!
