I'm about to drop some knowledge on you.
In the fall of 2001, I was in grade 12 and working at Allans Video in Grand Falls-Windsor with my friend Mole. School had just started at the College of the North Atlantic and girls from out of town were coming in out of the woodwork. This is when Mole informed me of something he had recently discovered existed: The Bayfriend.
I know you must be thinking "what the eff is Mike getting on with this time?" but allow me to explain to you just what the Bayfriend is.
When very attractive young girls leave their hometowns in search of larger venues, primarily for educational purposes they often leave behind a bayfriend. He's the guy that they went out with in high school because they didn't really have any other options. This guy is usually an idiot, prone to violence, and dependant on marijuana (but in the lame wannabe-gangsta-writing-'chronic'-on-his-belongings kind of way.) To be quite frank, the girl is always out of his league and only with him because her hometown has a population of 17 and sadly, he was the best they had to offer. Also, there's a good chance they've known each other since they were 3 years old and she knew him before he was this stupid.
Either way, the guy is a pain in the ass because he hinders her enjoyment of the post secondary experience (also known as hooking up with me).
For the past five fall semesters I've kept in mind what Mole said that night in the video store, and I've noticed it's true, the Bayfriend isn't something Mole made up to frighten me. They do exist. I think I actually was one. Well, not a bayfriend in the traditional "skeetish" standards, but after I finished high school my girlfriend went on to MUN and I stayed in GF-W, and I know my existence pissed off a lot of guys in St. John's.
OH! That reminds me, there is a way to conquer the bayfriend! Just wait it out, they're usually gone by the second semester.
So add this one to your set of Mike's Terms and Phrases;
bayfriend: [bey-frend] (noun) - male companion that has been chosen but left behind by rural female when she moves to a larger center. Usually a bit of a skeet and picked not based on compatability, but on availability. Most often extinct or endangered by January.
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13 comments:
Hey Mike,
Glad to be the first comment on your newly designed blog. As a reformed man of the bay, and probably the closest thing you're going to get as an expert witness, I can attest to your theory.
Granted, I was never carving 'Thug Life' into my arm with a piece of glass from a blackhorse bottle, but even the best of us unknowingly let our bay flags fly when we first leave. We can become cured though...well, most of us.
-Chris-
P.S. - I had no idea you were in Trinity all summer. It's actually pretty close to Wesleyville. Small world, eh?
Mole is so funny. Isn't it obvious that I'm related to him?
I remember when I celebrated my year anniversary with my high school boyfriend..and I was all excited and bought a new skirt and we went to dinner...and my aunt was like...
yeahhhhh he'll be gone by october.
and I was adament that he wouldn't be.
he actually only made it to the second week of september.
something in the air.
yeah that was me.
and by me I mean bekah.
and now you think that you have an extra two comments from two different people.
..
that's shitty.
Mike Strikes again!
Hey Hickey, What's up?
I was fortunate enough to witness some of these bayfriends recently from the door at work with the new school year just starting. I never knew the text book defination before now. Thanks.
My question is, what do you call the ones who evolve past bayfriend? Those who survive to become engaged and married? There must be a scientific term.
Hi Mike,
I would like to say that I agree with you, but ofcourse you I can't. We had a larger population then 17 and they weren't all idiots. We did always come across a few but then again dosen't everyone. You don't have to be from the bay for that. I have actually seen more skeetish looking ppl in town then what I see out here. Aside from all that a lot of the (correct term) "Highschool sweethearts" that were together when we graduated are still together now. Most of them moved out and lived together in town.
Then again though everyone is entitled to their own oppinion and if you would like to refer to the majority of bay "guys" like skeets you may find yourself in more trouble then you can handle.
My advice to you sir would be to put that brain to a greater use then coming up with ways to offend the bay "girls" ex-boyfriends.
I just had to do that, you know I can never agree with you, that would defeat the purpose of me being female...lol
Take it easy man...I haven't heard from you in awhile..Hope school is going good.
"Baychick"
Why is baychick so angry? This is a common phenomenon, (one I've witnessed at two universities in two provinces, as well as overseas) and her assertion that sometimes the bayfriend beats the odds doesn't make it any less real.
It is important to point out the fact that at no point to you "refer to the majority of bay "guys" like skeets." Some are skeets, and they are the bayfriend. Some are not, and they are not relevant to the discussion.
So where does the anger come from? Perhaps baychick is the less common, but no less important, female version of the bayfriend, and you struck a nerve?
Asshole!
typical emo rant about a useless topic
I was born before 1985, so I don't know what "emo" means, but as for the "rant about a useless topic" comment, isn't that what blogging is all about?
Oh, that and anonymous criticism.
Ok, I had to look it up. According to wikipedia, emo is:
(an abbreviation of "emotionally-driven Hardcore punk"); a term now broadly used to describe almost any form of guitar-driven alternative rock that expresses emotions beyond traditional punk's limited emotional palette of alienation and rage. It is also used to describe fans of this genre, most commonly teenagers. (e.g., emo kid). The actual term "emo" originated in the mid-1980s D.C. scene, with the band Rites of Spring, as well as bands such as Fugazi, Moss Icon, and Antioch Arrow. ...
Having found this definition, I hereby call upon the previous anonymous vigilante to explain how it is applicable to this particular posting.
Dennis,
I think the "emo" term was directed at the "Baychick" being that her post represented a random outburst which was emotionally driven rather than one which is based on logic and fact. If we take the Wikipedia entry to be true (and it undoubtedly is THE authority on all matters pop culter...) we can make some connections.
Basically we can draw a similarity between her random outburst to a discussion with that of the more "emotional" guitar spurts which were not typically asociated with punk rock. Both the "baychick" posting and the guitar pieces are asides which play on emotions rather than substance to in an attempt to justify their positions. As such, they are both uncharacteristic of the norm.
This is my best attempt at trying to analyze and understand the emo post...hope it helps?!?!
Of course the other answer, which is much easier and requires less thought(but is way less fun), is that the poster was too lazy to write "emotional"...
you my friend are fucking halarious!!! I so love it!
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