Adventures in trying to make my own turkey (with updates)

The saga that is about to be unfolded before you began about 2 or 3 weeks ago in a conversation that went something along the lines of

Me: Dennis?
Dennis: Yes?
Me: Are you going home for Thanksgiving?
Dennis: No, I don't imagine I'll go home now until Christmas, why?
Me: I'm not going home either, so I was wondering, what do you think about us deep frying a turkey?
Dennis: I think that it sounds like it would be good. However, it will never happen.
Me: What about cooking a turkey the normal way.
Dennis: If you want to cook it, go ahead, I'll eat it. But I still don't actually see it happening.

Then I spent the next couple weeks planning out the cooking of the turkey. I emailed Mom in Alberta and got her to send me recipes and stuff, still figuring at the last minute someone would call and say "You want to come over for turkey" and me saying okay and not cooking. But apparently I'm not that popular and yesterday I went out and bought a turkey. I named it Bessie. Then today I got up and prepped the turkey and discovered the "pope's nose" and changed the bird's name to Dave. Seriously, you ain't never seen a set like this turkey had.

Anyway, it's in the oven cooking away. I stuffed it, and I think I'm still going to make some extra stuffing cause I love it and slowly throughout the day you can expect updates on things like "peeling potatoes", "mashing potatoes", and "Salmonella". Stayed tuned, it should be exciting.

20 Minutes in...

The smoke alarm just went off for the first time.

5 Minutes later...

It happened again. This time it Dennis came up with me, noting that there is no actual smoke. We decided it might just be the turkey is too close to the top burner, so we're going to lower the rack.

2 hours in

Dave has been basted, covered in tin foil, and is currently roasting in his own juices. But he smells damn good. I made more dressing than I could actually fit in the bird, so I just stuck a pouch of it in the oven. It should be ready at about 5:30 and give us an idea of what we're in for. The turkey itself won't be ready for about an hour or so after that, so when I go up then I'll get the carrots, potatoes, and all that ready.

3 & 1/4 Hours

The extra dressing is done and frigging delicious. My fears are relieved somewhat since the dressing turned out the way it was supposed to. The carrots are in and the potatoes are ready to go.

...15 minutes later

The batteries are temporarily out of the smoke alarm. Once the potatoes went on that damn thing started to freak out, so I dismantled it for the sake of the next half hour. Hopefully it will be okay.

And it's done!

Success! I am proud to say not only did I not burn the house to the ground, not only did I not kill us by serving undercooked food, I made a moist, tasty, "grandma quality" turkey for Thanksgiving. I also made some deadly mashed potatoes, carrots and some killer dressing. I am awesome!

I also put the batteries back in the smoke detector and cleaned up. Not bad at all. Dennis has even said that if we're in the same city next year he's coming over for some turkey. A complement I do not take lightly.

Right now, I'm going to go do the standard post turkey nap, but I'll be back later tonight with the Halloween post.