The Village Mall is only good for 3 things:
1. SportChek
2. A bus depot
3. Making you feel better about yourself
Allow me to explain further.
It has SportChek, something the Avalon Mall doesn't have. I play sports, mostly hockey, but other sports too, and it annoys the shit out of me that I can get everything I need at the Avalon short of hockey stuff. But that's not getting the Village off the hook because there's a bigger, better SportChek on Stavanger, and I can get to places like Future Shop and Wal-Mart if I go there, potentially killing multiple birds with one stone. So that's gone, leaving only two things the Village Mall is good for, one of them being a bus depot.
I think this is what the majority of people at the Village are actually doing there, waiting for a bus. Not just any bus either - a bus to Mount Pearl. It's the only place you can get a transfer to the Pearl from, but sending Route 21 all the way to the Avalon or UC could solve that problem.
Leaving people watching the only reason to go to the Village, and I use the term "people" very loosely.
Ok, I guess I should give you the backstory: today I did what anybody who is between work and can't get EI does...I got a job at a call center. Teletech actually. Why go to the one furthest away from me? Because getting there is going to be such a bitch it will annoy me into continuing the search for a better job. But anyway, on my way back I had a stopover at the Village to wait for the Route 1 and saw several things that brought about this post. Skeet Fights being first and foremost.
Sat on the curb outside the useless Sears (another redundant feature of the Village) was a row of total sketch bags randomly kicking the shit out of each other. This is ok in one sense because it thins out the herd, but completely and utterly idiotic in every other imaginable sense. Seriously, these dudes were pairing off two at a time and just wailing on each other and this one guy, who I'll assume was the "coach", was giving them tips. I actually heard the guy say to some dude who was pinned on the sidewalk "Get away from 'im. I don't care if you gotta bite him, just get out of it!"
It was when I finally managed to pull my eyes away from the train wreck that is these people's lives I saw Pugsley. It was this little kid, I'm guessing he was about 6 or so, and he was there with his dad or grandpa. Anyway, he was quite the pudgy little guy, and to make it all the more hysterical he was wearing a striped t shirt and had a buzz cut, making him look exactly like Pugsley from the Addams Family. It was trippy. But the kid was actually pretty cool. He came over to tell me all about the Route 5, which he just got a brochure on. He asked me what bus I was taking and then called out to me from across the parking lot to let me know it was coming.
But despite Pugsley turning out to be a pretty burnt little kid, the Village Mall sucks. It doesn't even have a fountain anymore. And it especially sucks when you're waiting for your bus and there's all kinds of weird people with windbreakers and fanny packs. Unfortunately, I have to be there at least twice a day until I get a job that doesn't suck. If you're hiring, please save me.
Skeet Fighter: [skeet fahy-ter] (noun) - Sadly, not a superhero dedicated to ridding the world of the evil skeet menace, but actually, a skeet who beats up on other skeets for entertainment purposes. Most often found in a public setting.
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5 comments:
Haha hilarious Mike!
I have always had a hatred for the putrid Village Mall and those who frequent it. It's definitely a skeet fest that's for sure. Reading your post in Edmonton made it even funnier. However, there is one advantage of the Village Mall, (and I hate to say it because that place is a dump)it is not as busy and insane as the Avalon or Stavanger Drive during the Christmas season. Because it is such a terrible place no one goes there so it makes my Christmas shopping a little more pleasant (because I hate people, especailly crowds of them) if the store I need is in there. That being said, its usefulness in such a restricted time period, combined with the fact that it has about 2 good stores, does not make it any higher on my list of places to be!
My only problem with your blog is that you have made a wild claim without any proof. Nobody has actually seen you play hockey. There are thoshe of us who seen you make an attempt at it, but not actually play. Keep trying, you'll get there.
Hey move back to Grand Falls-Windsor and your problem will be solved. All you have to worry about is the gulls beating the shit out of your garbage on pick-up day. Ha Ha
I would have to disagree with you on this post.....while yes, the Village Mall is totally overrun with skeets and Good-for-Nothings, it is still my neighborhood mall and I actually like the place. Its quaint atmosphere and small scale, yet surprisingly satisfying food court, has filled many a void Saturday afternoon in my 4 years living in St. John's and has also served as the location of my faithful and handsome Dentist, Dr. O'Dea! And granted, its recent lack of a fountain clearly doesn't place it any higher on the affluency scale, yet the mall itself still serves it's purpose - it boasts a make-up store, an underwear store, and a bookstore, so I ask you, what more do you need in a mall ?! A mall cannot help it's inherant location on the bus route, and the abundance of Mt Pearlians clearly doesn't help the situation, but I think you should give my mall a break - it is after all trying it's best to make a comeback and no matter what you say about the Village Mall, it sure beats the hell out the Explots Valley Mall anyday!!!
:P BS
Hey Mike, I believe you've gotten things confused. Skeet Fighter was a popular coin-op arcade game from the 90's, paving the way for its sequels Skeet Fighter 2, and Skeet Fighter 2: Turbo
(Gold star for anyone who gets the joke!)
-Chris-
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