*SLAP!* haha, blog five!

After some confusion it has been decided that an explanation is in order. Me and Byrne seem to have it down but everyone else is getting it wrong, especially Mayne. S0 here is a breakdown of the ancient art of....the high five.

The classic high five: (also known as fiver) This is the standard. Its a basic, above the head, full hand contact five. Adjustments can be made to accomodate a shorter five participant, but the high five should never be below the shoulder.

The freeze-frame high five: This is a classic five with a twist, you pause when the hands make contact, generally for a two count, then release.

The stall high five: Often mistaken for the freeze-frame high five the stall is slightly different. With the stall, you pause just before hand-to-hand contact.

The phone five: The standard in long distance fives. It is as simple as slapping the phone when something cool happens in conversation, however it must be announced so both people know its happening, otherwise it's just lame.

The text five: The son of the phone five, the text five is good for quick fives, especially when stealthiness is required. The official text five messages is "SLAP! Haha, text five. Awesome!" use with caution.

The 'net five: To be used over email, IM, or blogging. Similar to the text five, but some services, such as MSN, have a special five emoticon, which can be utilized by typing (h5) into the chat window.

The fresh five: Originally from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air the fresh five is a standard high five, with an alternate follow through. Once your five is complete, you lean back from your fellow fiver, and while throwing back a thumbs up in a "get out" fashion make a "pssht!" sound.

The re-return five: The re-return is acheived by slapping the standard five, and then hitting again on the follow through without looking behind you back.

The double up five: (also known as the ten) This is a double high five generally followed by chest-to-chest contact. WARNING: Only to be used in extremely awesome situations, over use can result in it taking away from how awesome subsequent situations are.

The beer five: The beer five is known in some, lamer circles as "cheers". It can be adapted to "shot five" or "drink five" but never "cooler five", because that in itself is lame. Only at formal settings will "wine five" or "champaign five" be accepted.

The side five: This is only permitted when seeing someone in passing without the time to stop for a regular five. However, hand position must be in between the navel and nipple. Any higher should be considered a re-return five and followed through on thusly, and any lower is a low five...and that's just wrong.

The low five: I am absolutely opposed to the low five, it is not a five, it is a lackluster handshake.

There you go, a brief overview of the high five. Learn it, know it, live it.