Standing on a Soapbox With Nothing to Say

If you haven't seen it, it's probably on YouTube

2007-04-13T15:02:00.000-02:30

My entire life, I have had cable TV. Well, at least for as long as I can remember. I think it's to blame for my horrible affliction of procrastinating that I'll get work done as soon as the episode I'm watching is over. I can't even sleep without the TV on anymore. I think it's out of hand.

Needless to say, last year, when I moved into my current apartment and decided to forgo a monthly cable bill in lieu of food I assumed I would either a) become much more productive, or b) lose my mind.
Good news: I'm still relatively sane
Bad news: I found out that downloaded television kicks ass and will take up your life and bandwidth.

It started with How I Met Your Mother. I downloaded all of last season and kept it on my computer to get me through the summer then I discovered that I could download all the shows I love so much and keep myself up to date on the happenings of Ted, JD, Jim, Hiro, et al.

I currently have a list of 8 shows I download when new episodes come up. A couple of them I'm just trying out to see how they are before I decide if I'm going to keep them on the roster. It's not looking good for some of them (I'm talking to you, Andy Barker PI), and of course there's a couple that I enjoy, but they're in their first season, so the jury/network is still out on them.

I can't remember where I was going with this post, perhaps it's because my brain is fried from watching 5 seasons of Scrubs in 4 days. Who knows? All I'm saying is I'm curious to see how it will be come next season, when I'm living in a different place with cable.

Its just had me thinking the last few days about how much longer TV will exist the way we know TV. Sure TiVo is just as convenient as downloading I suppose, but I'd like to see a show of hands of how many people actually have TiVo, and in that vein, how many people still have VCRs? I'm just starting to worry that if I'm downloading my favorite shows, then a lot of other people are too, and if no ones watching their actual televisions the shows will get canceled. And if the shows get canceled, how long will the medium last? It's a good thing Zach Braff has all those pretentious indie-films with obscure music to fall back on.

They're gonna put me in the movies

2007-03-27T20:30:00.000-02:30

I did a play a few years back called Broken Hearts & Broken Homes and last spring we were supposed to film it. But about a month before the start date it got canceled and I cut the blue wire and moved out to St Johns. I was bummed out but ending up getting on with Rising Tide for the summer and it proved to be for the best.

Then a few months back I got a call from the playwright, Shirley Morrow. She was calling to tell me that the Committee Against Violence (the non-profit that backed the play) were having their 15 year anniversary and they wanted me to come in and do some selected pieces from the show. Shirley is a great friend of mine and I loved doing the show so I said no problem and immediately made the necessary arrangements. She also told me that the film was back on, but because of different commitments and various restrictions on time and things it was being contracted out to Theater Newfoundland & Labrador and they were going to use their summer cast and film in Corner Brook in June. I was bummed out that I would miss out, but figured at least it was happening.

Then I went in to Grand Falls to do the show. Amanda came out with me and we had a great time, and the show went phenomenally. So well in fact, that the Committee started revisiting the idea of doing it themselves. They say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but a non-profit organization deciding to produce a movie based on a one-off performance of excerpts by you and two castmates is right up there.

I decided based on my experience last year with the rug being pulled on it I wouldn't get too excited about the project until I was on stage with a camera pointed in my face. But today I got the contract, so as soon as I get it back to Shirley they're stuck with me.

It was today when I opened the attachment and read the contract when I realized I'm going to make a movie. Sure its a straight-to-DVD, distributed-to-schools thing, but thats still pretty rad. And every school kid in the province is going to be forced fed this thing for years to come.

Holy shit.

You'll notice I also updated the aesthetics of the Soapbox today too. I got bored with the old look so I figured I'd try this out for a bit. Hope you like it.

Whew, I'm out of practise.

2007-03-25T15:54:00.000-02:30

So people often ask me; "Mike, how was the new TMNT movie?", and I tell them; "only wicked!"

Ok, now that I have that ode to a funny MySpace video by Jonny Harris out of the way, and informed you on the kickassness of the new Ninja Turtles movie I can move on and get down to business.

Remember how back in September the Soapbox was awesome, and I was updating it all the time and lots of people were checking it out? Yeah, that was fun times. Then you know how by November I started to suck it up and was no longer awesome? Well I'm unemployed again and now have nothing better to do with my days than job hunt and write blog posts, so that will hopefully bring the Soapbox back to its former glory.

Hrmm, I guess I should update people on whats been going on with me lately. I know that journal entries are generally kind of boring, but I've been so irregular with posts that now that I'm hoping to be back on track I should get everyone caught up.

So lets see, I have a girlfriend, her name is Amanda, she's pretty cool. I know I just blew a lot of people's minds because no one expects me to have a girlfriend, but I do, and I enjoy it.

Also, as stated I'm unemployed. I got cut down to part-time a while back and it wasn't working out. I've been off for like a week but haven't gotten used to it yet. I'll let you know how it goes, but I do hope it is a short lived batch of joblessness.

I will manage to keep busy though. What with writing blog posts, playing in my new band Ram-Hard! (don't ask about the name) and working a on web comic Byrne and I have been talking about for years and say we're actually going to get going soon. Speaking of web comics, I've become addicted to Questionable Content. I've read like 800 of them in like 4 days. Also, it gets updated daily, so that should keep you occupied when I fail to update my blog as much as I should.

I suppose that's enough for now. I'd hate to give you guys too much to process all at once after so much neglect. Oh yeah, you might notice that after Dennis giving me grief about it for a while I've decided to finally up the font size. But there's no way I'm going to go back and resize the previous entries, so I suggest getting a browser with a zoom feature.

Happy St Paddy's Day

2007-03-16T09:36:00.000-02:30

So in the spirit of St Patrick's Day, and me being all Irish and stuff I decided the best way to celebrate the holiday was to post this video, which just makes me happy.

Also, on a related note, a leprechaun has also be allegedly spotted in the greater-St. John's area, eyewitnesses managed to snap a photo of the mythical nymph. Unfortunately, much like the infamous Bigfoot photo, it's too blurry to verify.

Talk Dirty To Me

2007-03-07T15:50:00.000-03:30

Live at O'Reilly's

I broke MyHeritage.com

2007-02-24T20:13:00.000-03:30

So everyone on Facebook is doing this Celebrity Look-a-Likes thing. It's offered from a genealogy site called MyHeritage.com and you upload a photo of yourself, which the site then matches to a database of celebrity photos. Then it makes a collage of you and the celebrities you apparently look like.

I got sick of constantly getting messages from people saying "Check out my celebrity look-a-likes" so I decided to break it. I went online, found a photo of a random celebrity, processed it, and this happened.

Ok folks, Colin Farrell apparently doesn't look like Colin Farrell. So there, it doesn't work. Stop now.

Facebook is awesome, that is all.

2007-02-21T18:39:00.000-03:30

Oh Soapbox, how I have abandoned you. It's not my fault. I blame the internet. And yes I see the irony in blaming the internet for me abandoning my website, but its true. Web 2.0 has provided way to many options of the time wasting variety.

First I started really getting into MySpace, to the point where I developed a theory that Tom was actually The Brain from Pinky and The Brain and MySpace was a harebrained scheme to take over the world. And like all of The Brain's schemes it was working, right up to the point where some unexpected variable throws everything off track...

Facebook, ah Facebook. This thing has gotten frigging insane. It's beginning to rival MSN Messenger for the number of friends I have on Facebook, and the thing is addictive, I'm pretty sure that Facebook uses the same agent Starbucks uses to keep people addicted to their coffee. So much happens on Facebook too, theres photos, notes, wall postings, messages, groups, etc. And, of course, like MySpace, you can view your friend's friends and add them as your own, but on Facebook you even get to see how they know them. It's like someone went; "Ok, how do people waste time on the internet? Alright, now lets take that, minus all the porn, and put it all on one website! Gee, there was a lot of porn." I know you're saying; "Well, I waste a lot of my time on gossip sites" well Facebook has that too. You can see who's going out, how serious they are, who's hooked up, etc. and all that and it comes to you in a nifty little news feed on your Facebook home page. And the experience gets even better when you use Firefox and use the Facebook extensions like the toolbar and StudioLD skin.

And as though I wasn't wasting enough time on Facebook, Stumble Upon shows up to help me waste more time. This thing is great because it allows you to choose a bunch of interests and then when you're bored you click "Stumble!" and it will present a website you might find interesting. Not that interesting? Click it again and it'll show you a new site. It makes being bored so much less work.

So now, whenever I get bored instead of ranting about high fives or bayfriends, I just click "Stumble!" or join a group to discuss Brian Fellow's Safari Planet.

Apples vs Oranges

2007-02-09T20:00:00.000-03:30

Here's something I wrote a while back but never bothered to post:

For years I’ve heard people say that trying to compare two different things was like “apples and oranges” as though those things were so different it was therefore impossible to pick between them.

I say fuck that, they’re fruit. You can pick you favorite fruit. Mine is Nathan Lane

But back to apples and oranges. I prefer oranges personally, but I still appreciate the need for the apple. Here’s why: oranges taste better, they make better juice, and people…one word…creamsicle. But apples are great in they’re own right. I mean, apples have the whole green apple flavor thing going for them, which is nice, and of course, the saving grace of the apple; mobility.

Oranges are great, but they need to be peeled or cut into halves or quarters. Apples you can have straight out of the crisper, no need for utensils. Simple.

So to summarize; if I’m just chilling out in my apartment, or having breakfast, or whatever I’ll go for an orange, but if I’m running late and need to eat on the move. It’s apples all the way.

By the way, I still stand firm on having orange juice IN cereal. I’m telling you, frosted flakes and OJ hits the spot.

* I know that’s offensive, but a) its funny, b) the Producers kicks ass.

Michaelmas; it's a thing

2007-01-09T23:11:00.000-03:30

First off I want Gerard Kennedy to know I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

It's been a crazy week and a half since I last posted and that is because of...MICHAELMAS! That's right, it was that annual multiday bender that is celebrating my birthday. This year, I sadly missed out on the much anticipated "strip club pub crawl" but without the Cotton Club reopen yet it would have probably just have made everyone sad.

Other than that I've just been kept busy with work and trying to get over the flu. It's surprisingly hard to do, especially when I'm not actually taking any meds. I keep coughing and feeling all shitty, but it comes and goes and the crazy weather is helping me get through.

What is up with that, btw? It's the 9th of January and it's like 11 degrees? In Newfoundland? I don't know what the deal with that is, but all I have to say is that up until that point where everyone drowns and we wind up in a bad Kevin Costner movie I don't mind this global warming thing (yes, I understand that with the exception of the ones with baseball and Robin Hood "bad" is redundant in that sentence). But come on, let's be serious. It's not going to happen overnight, we'll see the tide rise up and just move inland. Everyone will be fine.

Oh yeah, back to Michaelmas. See, me and a few friends started it up a few years ago. It's based on the concept that since my bday is so close to the holidays everyone is constantly doing something else and it's impossible to get everyone together at once. That in mind we staggered several nights of drinking over the span of the week starting with Michaelmas Eve (January 3) right on up to the Saturday of Michaelmas. It's generally funtimes and this year was no exception.

But I did discover something quite odd. There actually is a Michaelmas. It's the feast of St Michael and it happens in September. This puts me in an odd place. Do we change the name of my Michaelmas, or do we just ignore the other one? Either way, I now have a full year to figure something out.

One last thing. I've decided to rig Google. You've done a vanity search. Don't lie, you know you have. And last time I did one the Soapbox was #9 for "Mike Hickey" and #13 for "Michael Hickey" but I don't think thats good enough. With your help I think we can make it #1. Or at least #2. Which I don't mind, #2 is solid. Hehe, yeah I did.

Apparently Google runs on some kind of link thing or something? I don't know but for sure, but if someone could let me know it would be super. In the meantime, link this shit up from everything you can. In return, I'll post more often. I think it's a fair deal. Let's get on that.

Hangovers Suck

2006-12-31T15:52:00.000-03:30

Hangovers are a funny thing. Everyone who drinks suffers from them in one way or another, and most of us have our own special way of dealing with them. The worst part about them is that they can spring up on you for seemingly no reason.

I have one right now, and I don't know why. Yeah, I drank last night, but not a lot. I had about 9 Keith's all night and that was it. Hardly a recipe for destruction. But despite that I still found myself to be hurting this morning, and even threw up. Not the best way to spend New Year's Eve, actually it's usually the way I spend New Year's Day.

But I'm working on my cure. For some people it's the hair of the dog that gets them through, others prefer coffee, sleep is a definite option. But me, I like McDonalds. As I write this I'm sprawled across my bed watching Thundercats, and slowly working my way through a 10 pack of McNuggets. I'm also waiting for the gravol I took to kick in. I'm also contemplating a nap with a cold cloth on my head.

But it has me thinking. With it being New Year's and all I'm sure some of you may be imbibing various spirits and what better time to find ways to combat hangovers. So leave a comment on how you get past feeling like death warmed over.

Happy New Years

When not to pick up...(really, such a time exists)

2006-12-07T21:25:00.000-03:30

So last night I hit up Junctions with an associate who shall remain nameless. It wasn't the initial plan, but hey, the Breezeway wasn't happening and I didn't know about the bands at Greensleeves and the Martini Bar.

Now, I hate Junctions. Thats important to know here. I've been there a grand total of three times and last night was the only time it was remotely interesting. Let me tell you why...

Once we got there, and discovered how dead the place was we opted to drink until our $5 cover seemed worthwhile and bail. But just as we got to the bottom of our beers, some dude flipped over the pool table. Seriously. Flipped the thing upside down. It was insane. Even more insane was that he then went directly to the bar and ordered a beer as though nothing had happened.

But then the bouncers show up and tear dude apart and the cops show up and all that fun stuff happens, and suddenly the place is interesting. All the while "The Best Damn Beat Downs 2" is on TV and everyone is watching fights. Needless to say the extreme drunks there were getting a little worked up.

This brings me up to todays lesson:

Never try to pick up at the bar after a fight has broken out.

Heres why.

Remember that cute little girl in the pink tank top who's been giving you the eye all night? Well dude, she's spent a lot of the night talking to that arsehole with the dirtstash who's acting like the typical bayman back from Alberta throwing money around. And while she looks incredibly bored with him and interested in you, he's incredibly drunk and interested in all the violence he just witnessed. So I'd try not to rackjack him if I were you.

Now, for the record I was the one passing along with advise, as my years of being a total pussy have taught me the best ways to avoid getting my ass kicked. And heeding my advise saved me from having to get my buddy's back, which in all honesty would have consisted of me being a decoy and just taking some hits before I ran away.

Ass, Kick Ass

2006-11-26T22:28:00.000-03:30

I was planning on not sucking, but since that every time I started to write a post it began "So Kramer went nuts...", I mean, it was hard not to have something to say about it. Dude went crazy. But I decided to leave it alone. Dennis wrote about it, check it out.

What I finally decided would break my silence is the James Bond film festival I've imposed on myself. I watched Casino Royale the other night and it was purely amazing. By far one of the coolest movies I've seen in a long time. It in fact, got me to give the whole James Bond franchise a second chance.

I had grown tired with Bond in the last little while. I saw Dr. No a long time ago on NTV and it was great, but the more movies I watched the more tired I got. It was like a more drawn out version of the degeneration of Batman, by the Pierce Brosnan movies you might as well have had Joel Schumacher directing the mess.

You watch Die Another Day, and it's fun and goofy and everything you expect from a James Bond movie. But thats not necessarily good. The climax of the movie had 007 in a rocket car, racing a satellite laser beam that focused the Sun's energy into a weapon, and then using parts of said rocket car to windsurf his way back to his invisible Astin Martin to save Halle Berry from a melting ice fortress and then go off to stop the British billionaire who is actually a North Korean colonel who has undergone DNA reassessment from using the laser beam to destroy the DMZ. Seriously.

That's why the second and third Austin Powers movies were so redundant, who needs Mike Myers when Bond is parodying himself in each new installment.

But like the breath of fresh air Batman Begins was, in comes Casino Royale to reboot the franchise and wisk you back to when Bond was just pure cool. Actually, it brings you back to before Bond was as cool as we know him, which actually makes him cooler;

James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

That in mind I went out last night and picked up a bunch of Bond flicks. I have now seen each of the 6 "official" 007s, even that George Lazenby guy, and I've got to give Daniel Craig credit. He's currently in a tie for first place with Sean Connery.

Imagine, it's that good and he has blond hair. Who'd of thunk it. Oh yeah, me and Soup last year after we watched Layer Cake. Do yourself a favour, next time you're at the video store and have a copy of Moonraker in your hand. Put it back. Wait a couple months and buy Casino Royale and watch it over and over again.

When should you wear an apron to a club?

2006-11-15T00:35:00.000-03:30

I suck.

It's been two full weeks since the last post, and well over a month since I've written something I, or apparently anyone else, find remotely amusing. While I don't write, I do spend an embarrassing amount of time on networking sites. Not actually being productive mind you, just kinda tweaking profiles and getting in contact with old friends and that sort of thing.

In fact, I just signed up for Facebook yesterday. It's way better than MySpace, but only recently opened up to people who aren't attending school. I'm still staying away from Hi5 and all that, but Facebook is actually kind of kickass. I have an rss feed set up on Facebook which directly posts my blog posts on my profile. Which I think proves to be pretty awesome.

It should also bring in 4 people to read this post, and that will give me 1000 "official" visitors!

That's right, the kick in the ass that made me write this entry was when my weekly traffic report showed up and informed me that I was 10 visitors away from 1000! By the time I started this I was at 996. I know a 1000 website hits isn't a big deal, and it isn't actually the total number, its just the total since I added the counter. But it's great to be able to see the numbers of visitors I'm getting and where they're from. The kick also came from the 9 average visitors a day. At the high point there were well over 20 and that was only about a month ago. So, to see it drop that low sucks, and lets me know I need to get my arse in gear.

And someone told me off in the comments. Luckily Dennis has my back.

But everything I just rambled on about doesn't answer the question I know is just picking away at you:

Q - When should you wear an apron to a club?
A - Not often.

But once and a while it's okay to do. I know this not from personally wearing an apron at a club, but from interacting with a pretty crazy guy who did.

His name was Brad or something and he was hitting up the GSBM with his recently single brother who was lamenting over his ex-girlfriend. Brad, however, refused to let this effect his night and decided to wear a green frilly grandma apron out to the bar. It worked brilliantly! Not only did the pockets hold multiple beers, it also attracted the attention of a ton of hot girls who all thought he was "wacky fun" and kept hanging out and taking pictures. Like the one I have posted there.

Telling you, dude is a visionary.

Reproduction of the dumbest

2006-10-31T21:08:00.000-03:30

You know how Darwin went to that island and came back with the whole 'survival of the fittest' thing. How only the strong survive? Well that's true. But with that in mind I want you to examine a new theory; reproduction of the dumbest.

It all comes from a conversation I had with Dennis the other day. Turns out he works with this dude who's a real knob. I know because I've almost punched the guy a couple times following confrontations at the Sundance and anyone who knows me knows I'm a bit of a puss so that should speak volumes for his idiotness in and of itself. Anyway, Dennis was telling me how this dude has one kid already, he has another one on the way with his current girlfriend and is talking about ditching her for this other girl he wants to hook up with. All the while trying to get a job at McDonalds for the health benefits.

Dennis' advice was not to break up with his girlfriend, and to buy a box of condoms.

This got me thinking. You know how for years we've been hearing how standardized test scores are dropping and kids are getting dumber on average. Well it's not because of television or video games as we've constantly been told. It's because morons like this dude who are too stupid to wrap it up are watering down the education system with their idiot offspring. Meanwhile the intelligent, responsible sector of the population who are more likely to parent smarter children are careful and generally try to plan pregnancy resulting in smaller families.

I'm not saying that anyone who has an unplanned pregnancy is stupid and will produce stupid kids. I'm just saying it's like that old expression "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". This guy is already staring down two kids from two different moms and is already talking about cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with a girl who, if the trend continues, will most likely wind up pregnant. For the love of God man, invest in some Trojans, or at least pull out.

But what do I know, I used the word "idiotness" in this post.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T21:01:00.001-03:30

In a surprising turn of events an overwhelming 50% of you wanted me to save the candy for me and Dennis. I'm shocked you cared so little about the poor kid's who dressed up and went trick or treating tonight and cared even less about the poor people I work with.

But alas, at 9:30 this morning, the poll was a dead heat between work and home, so I took it to work, because I wanted my candy, and I got the final say. But in a happy turn of events my Aunt Pat didn't get any trick or treaters at all. That bummed her out a bit but means she's bringing me and Dennis candy when she comes into town on Thursday. So there, you get your way and I get more candy.

Happy Devil's Night

2006-10-30T21:28:00.000-03:30

I only took one picture all weekend. That was of some dude dressed as Mr. T who was awesome. So I've decided until some camera happy friends send me the pics they took I'm going to withhold information on how Mardi Gras went. Needless to say, it was in fact, kick ass.

What I'm actually going to spend an unnecessary amount of time talking about is leaf kicking. You all know what I'm talking about. It's inevitable that this time of year you do some leaf kicking. No one out grows it. You're walking down the sidewalk and start kicking the leaves in the gutter, or just kick a pile together on the lawn. It happens. For me it's as much a part of Halloween as eating too much candy or The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror. I think the main reason is because for oh so many of my formative years I spent the fall walking back and forth to NDA via Memorial Avenue.

Now Memorial Avenue isn't Maple Avenue, it's just two streets over, but it has way more maple trees. Every day from Kindergarten to Grade 7 I had to walk home down Memorial, and anytime there where leaves I would always have a huge pile built up by the time I got down to Mel's Mini Mart. From about Grade 4 on it became a contest with my friend Tabitha's little brother Danny, who we always walked home. Such a contest usually resulted in me winning, and throwing him in the big pile of leaves.

Good times.

Oh! I need your help with something! Tonight I picked up some groceries and while there I bought a box of mini Halloween bars. The plan was to give them to the girls upstairs to hand out to trick-or-treaters. I've decided I'm not sure how much I want to do that. Instead, in what my roommate will undoubtedly find ironic, I've decided to let you decide for me via online poll! You have three options and until 9:30am to influence my decision.

<a href="http://micropoll.questionpro.com/akira/MicroPoll?mode=html&id=18773">View MicroPoll</A><br /><a href="http://www.questionpro.com/">Web Survey</a><br />

And for this weeks list, I bring out the big guns.

Watch
Sleepy Hollow - Tim Burton's 1999 version of the legend is great. Not because it has anything to do with the original story, because it doesn't. All they have in common is character names really. But still, I love it. I can't help it. It's one of the most beautifully crafted horror films ever made and has all the classic elements.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - The 1949 Disney version narrated by the one and only Bing Crosby. This is Halloween. It's that simple. If you didn't watch this every year when you were a kid I'm going to politely ask you to leave. You're no longer welcome here. But if you have seen it you probably remember the old VHS that had the two cartoons where Micky, Donald, and Goofy were ghost busters and some witch showed up and helped Huey, Dewy, and Louie give Donald shit. If you know where I can get this please let me know!

Read
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - Washington Irving. I think you know by now that I love this story. It's one of the greatest pieces of American Literature available, and no, I don't think that's being a little extreme. The first time I read it was when I was about 9 and I still remember it. Really people, you need to understand, this story makes my Halloween, every year.

Listen
The Soapbox Halloween Mix (Complete with this weeks additions)
I Put A Spell On You - Screaming Jay Hawkins
Witchy Woman - The Eagles
Witch Doctor - Mark Bragg
Lucky Day In Hell - The Eels
Sympathy For The Devil - The Rolling Stones
They're Coming To Take Me Away - Napoleon XIV
Little Red Riding Hood - Sam The Sham
Monster Mash - Bobby 'Boris' Pickett
Halloween (she gets so mean) - Rob Zombie
Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jr.
Ghostbusters II - Run DMC
Thriller - Michael Jackson
Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
The Munsters Theme - Los Straitjackets
The Halloween Dance - Reverend Horton Heat

Kickass Halloween costume: check

2006-10-22T17:40:00.000-02:30

Yesterday started out a bit strange. I woke up early (on my own) and made breakfast. I then discovered that Aliant service was back up, which I found impressive since someone had burned that mother' down the night before. Then I organized the day and went on an adventure.

The first stop was Spun to pick up the Ghost Busters t-shirt I had ordered the day before. Once that was done I grabbed another bus, seemingly one to the Village (to grab yet another bus, because why else would I be at the Village) but bailed early to walk the remainder of the way to the Army Navy store. After stopping off for lunch along the way I got caught in the rain. And for any of you who were in St. John's this weekend you know it wasn't just a light shower. It frigging poured.

After walking about a half hour down Topsail Road, right into Mount Pearl I finally made it to the store and got my flight suit and army boots. Now, it might not be the most extravagant costumes on George Street this year, but it's definitely the kickassiest.

After I got it all straightened away I called a cab because I had no intention on walking again. I dropped off my stuff and went over to the library to get Mercer who had already booked a trip to the mall. We kicked around there for a bit and just as we were leaving I popped into CD Plus and stumbled on a ton of patches. This is awesome because it was the only part of my costume I had left to pick up.

So this year, Maverick's flight suit will feature Green Day, The Dropkick Murphys, The Ramones, Fall Out Boy, and Scarface. Not standard GI patches, but hey, they get the job done.

Here's last week's list.

Watch
Friday the 13th - The original, none of that #47 Jason on Broadway crap. I'm talking Mrs. Voorhees putting an arrow through Kevin Bacon while no one knew what was going on. It's very important to stick to the first 3 movies of this series, because, oddly enough, after Jason gets his hockey mask in #3 it all goes downhill.

Read
Dracula - Bram Stoker. I know it doesn't take place at Halloween, in fact it takes place in the spring and summer, it's still a classic.
Frankenstein - Mary Shelley. Like Dracula, not meant as a Halloween book, but you can't dispute its influence on the holiday.

Listen
I Put a Spell on You - Screaming Jay Hawkins. Yeah, there are other versions of this song, but Screamin' Jay put a sense of batshit crazyness behind it that no one else managed to capture.

I pity the fool who don't have Mr. T in your pocket!

2006-10-20T09:22:00.000-02:30

Sales at work were slipping last week so I brought in the ultimate motivational tools, a Get Psyched Mix and my Mr. T bobble head. What followed was our best day yet, and at lunch my boss Greg told us that if we could find more of them or even better, a Chuck Norris bobble head, he would pay for them. So at lunch we hit up Downtown Comics, where I had bought the Mr. T bobble head oh so many years ago, to search for the elusive Norris bobble head, or any other Walker swag.

Sadly the search was in vain, they don't even make a Chuck Norris bobble head. Someone really dropped the ball on that one and are just asking for a roundhouse. But what we found was arguably better. Mr. T is now in my pocket.

This key chain of key chains has "six helluva tough guy sayings" featuring such classics as "Quit cho' jibba jabba", "First name Mister, middle name Period, last name T", and of course "I pity the fool". It's come into great use at work helping keep everyone all upbeat and though sales haven't been through the roof or anything, no one is getting discouraged. Which is key in making sure the slump doesn't last.

Along with the Mr. T merch and Get Psyched Mix we now also end each meeting with a round table of Chuck Norris facts. Seriously, this job is amazing.

I did have the vast majority of this post ready to go yesterday, but Aliant burned down and cell and internet service was out. I have to say, I'm impressed they're back online with everything just 12 hours later. Good for them, and me (some of you know what I'm talking about, and you have to admit, cell service going out all over the city was a good thing for me last night.)

Also, I'm sorry I missed the Halloween post this week, but the final pre-Mardi Gras post will go up early this week, hopefully going over my as-yet-to-happen Harbour Haunt experience. And I'll post the full Halloween CD mix.

And it begins...

2006-10-12T18:06:00.000-02:30

I was starting to get the shakes. After playing 5 nights a week last winter I haven't played hockey since June, and I've been going nuts. But today I went in to the MUNSU office to say hi to some people and was informed of a potential game for tonight. I followed up on it and sure enough I've got a game tonight. I'm officially psyched beyond repair.

Now, don't get me wrong. I suck at hockey. I only played my two years peewee and quit. Then when I started college three years ago they had a rec team so I bought some gear and started playing again. By last year I was skating at least five nights a week, and loving every minute of it. I had a weekly game lined up for the summer, and should have been playing whenever I got back in town, but by the time Monday night rolled around I was just way too tired to play hockey. But now I've got this skate lined up and hopefully it can become a weekly thing.

The Sunday Knights started up in Grand Falls Sunday night and I sadly wasn't there for it. It was really bummed out I missed it but luckily I found a game that while I'm sure won't live up to the glory of the Knights, or Vipers (my rec league team) I'll at least get to keep at it.

Oh yeah, that picture is me last year playing for the college team. Note the "C" on my chest. Yeah, we were that hard up.

Collecting the "no"s

2006-10-11T21:13:00.000-02:30

It's official, my new job kicks ass. While I always said I didn't want to go into sales I have to admit it's working for me. In fact, this morning, I made our teams first sale. It felt awesome.

The weird thing is, it totally goes against my usual methods of procurement. Keeping in mind of course customers aren't what I usually try to procure.

You see, a long time ago I heard the phrase "collecting the 'no's". This is when a guy goes to a bar, hits on every women in sight and gets repeatedly turned down before eventually finding that inevitable 'yes'. I always thought this was the dumbest idea ever. Well, next to calling a Halloween party "Mardi Gras".

I subscribe to the idea of focus. If you go after too many girls at once you: a) spread yourself too thin and don't provide her with the proper amount of attention and; b) will undoubtedly get caught and not get any girl at all.

That's how I treated the whole sales thing yesterday. I went through the sheets of names picking out the ones that based on location, business, title, etc. I thought would be interested in what I was offering. But that failed miserably. So today I just ran through the list and got a sale right off the bat. I probably would have done better on the day had it not been for the fact that no one I called was in today. I got everyones voicemail, so I'll call them back tomorrow and see how that goes.

And yes, I can in fact find some way to relate everything to picking up girls.

Why I both hate and love Mardi Gras

2006-10-10T20:03:00.000-02:30

I know, the Halloween post is usually on Sunday night. But Sunday night I was dragged out on tryptophan and just crashed. At the time I did have a post planned called "what I learned from every vampire movie ever" but when I actually tried to write it I realized that what I learned is nothing, because they always say "forget what you've seen in the movies..." and then go on to contradict every common legend about vampires. So I scrapped that idea.

Then yesterday instead of being dragged out on tryptophan I was hopped up on the adrenaline of quitting my job at Teletech. I lasted two whole weeks, which was about 3 weeks too long, but hey, I'm out of there so who cares.

Anyway on with the post.

As you might have noticed that I like Halloween. But despite this, I'm not a huge fan of Mardi Gras held here in St Johns Halloween weekend, and heres why; it's a stupid idea. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a costume party with scantily clad drunk girls, in fact I host 2-3 of them each week, but if you're going to do it, give it an appropriate name. Don't give it a name that translates to "fat Tuesday" and is in fact meant to be the day of Carnival before Ash Wednesday and a celebration of excess before the start of lent.

Call it something that actually has to do with Halloween. There's all kinds of potential here but no, some dumbass who didn't take French in the second grade decided that it would be fun to call it Mardi Gras because that translates to "costumed, drunken debauchery" in Moron. I understand people, its past the point of changing the name, and hell, I'll go down to George Street and party it up with the rest of them, but I will be doing it in silent protest that St John's Mardi Gras is a sham! But its a damn good time all the same.

Well, I'm told it is. I went down for it last year for the first time. I didn't enjoy myself. It's one of those things where there was just too much happening to focus. Also, I went with people who dragged me around looking for their friends, which was okay and all, but it would have been nice to find my friends too.

So there you go. I love Mardi Gras for what it is, a huge frigging Halloween party, but hate it for what it's called, because it confuses the hell out of people who aren't from Newfoundland and don't know that they just named it that for no proper reason, while annoying people from Newfoundland who realize how stupid it is to call it Mardi Gras.

Watch
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein. A comedic horror classic. It's got Lon Chaney Jr as the Wolf Man, Bela Lugosi as Dracula, and some dude who isn't Boris Karloff as Frankenstein's Monster. What more could you ask for then those guys chasing around Abbott & Costello? Thats right...nothing more.
Interview with the Vampire . Before Tom Cruise went batshit crazy he made some good movies. I think that this was one of them. It's a great telling of a great story. Way better than that Queen of the Damned piece of crap that was supposed to be direct to video but got released because Aliyah died and they figured people would go see it. Anyway, Brad Pitt is awesome in this and the end credits features what has been described by Slash as "the sound of Guns N' Roses breaking up". I'm talking about the real Guns N Roses, not that shitty new version that should actually be called Fatty McAsshole & 9 dudes that aren't Slash.

Read
The collective works of Stephen King, that shit is bound to creep you out.

Listen
Sympathy for the Devil - Guns N Roses. Thats what I was talking about before. I know the Stones version is the original and classic, but Slash has actually said that this was the band breaking up. After this GNR just stopped. But if you want to listen to both versions I highly recommend it.
Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett. This just goes without saying. I can't believe it took me this long to list it here.
They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha Haaa - Napoleon XIV "They're coming to take me away haha/ They're coming to take me away hoho hehe to the funny farm..." This song stills just creeps me the fuck out. When I was a kid my aunt had it on a tape and whenever I heard it my skin would crawl. Turns out it's about the guys dog, but still...

Adventures in trying to make my own turkey (with updates)

2006-10-08T14:49:00.000-02:30

The saga that is about to be unfolded before you began about 2 or 3 weeks ago in a conversation that went something along the lines of

Me: Dennis?
Dennis: Yes?
Me: Are you going home for Thanksgiving?
Dennis: No, I don't imagine I'll go home now until Christmas, why?
Me: I'm not going home either, so I was wondering, what do you think about us deep frying a turkey?
Dennis: I think that it sounds like it would be good. However, it will never happen.
Me: What about cooking a turkey the normal way.
Dennis: If you want to cook it, go ahead, I'll eat it. But I still don't actually see it happening.

Then I spent the next couple weeks planning out the cooking of the turkey. I emailed Mom in Alberta and got her to send me recipes and stuff, still figuring at the last minute someone would call and say "You want to come over for turkey" and me saying okay and not cooking. But apparently I'm not that popular and yesterday I went out and bought a turkey. I named it Bessie. Then today I got up and prepped the turkey and discovered the "pope's nose" and changed the bird's name to Dave. Seriously, you ain't never seen a set like this turkey had.

Anyway, it's in the oven cooking away. I stuffed it, and I think I'm still going to make some extra stuffing cause I love it and slowly throughout the day you can expect updates on things like "peeling potatoes", "mashing potatoes", and "Salmonella". Stayed tuned, it should be exciting.

20 Minutes in...

The smoke alarm just went off for the first time.

5 Minutes later...

It happened again. This time it Dennis came up with me, noting that there is no actual smoke. We decided it might just be the turkey is too close to the top burner, so we're going to lower the rack.

2 hours in

Dave has been basted, covered in tin foil, and is currently roasting in his own juices. But he smells damn good. I made more dressing than I could actually fit in the bird, so I just stuck a pouch of it in the oven. It should be ready at about 5:30 and give us an idea of what we're in for. The turkey itself won't be ready for about an hour or so after that, so when I go up then I'll get the carrots, potatoes, and all that ready.

3 & 1/4 Hours

The extra dressing is done and frigging delicious. My fears are relieved somewhat since the dressing turned out the way it was supposed to. The carrots are in and the potatoes are ready to go.

...15 minutes later

The batteries are temporarily out of the smoke alarm. Once the potatoes went on that damn thing started to freak out, so I dismantled it for the sake of the next half hour. Hopefully it will be okay.

And it's done!

Success! I am proud to say not only did I not burn the house to the ground, not only did I not kill us by serving undercooked food, I made a moist, tasty, "grandma quality" turkey for Thanksgiving. I also made some deadly mashed potatoes, carrots and some killer dressing. I am awesome!

I also put the batteries back in the smoke detector and cleaned up. Not bad at all. Dennis has even said that if we're in the same city next year he's coming over for some turkey. A complement I do not take lightly.

Right now, I'm going to go do the standard post turkey nap, but I'll be back later tonight with the Halloween post.

Suit up!

2006-10-06T22:11:00.000-02:30

So, I like suits. It's a well known fact, and in my eyes not a big deal. While obviously I subscribe to the Barney Stinson school of life (girls, suits, booze, girls, blogs, girls), the wearing of suits and sports jackets is something I've been a big advocate for for some time now. My first year in college for instance I wrote a paper on the subject called "Class Dismissed" about how society has become too casual. If you don't believe me ask Dick Butt. (tehehe, Dick Butt - seriously my English teacher in college)

Anyway, I got a new job today, and I'm incredibly psyched because it's a real job. None of this "Thank you for calling Sprint..." bullshit. I start work for Hospitality Marketing Concepts on Tuesday. It's a sales job and I work on the 9th floor of a building downtown and while it's not a requirement, wearing a suit to this job is acceptable.

I will of course, because hell, it's me.

But there are reasons why wearing a suit is not only awesome, but also incredibly functional. Here are some examples of why suits are cool.

1) They make you look good
2) They have multiple pockets to easily hold things such as keys, cell phones, and prophylactics
3) They make you more confident (seriously, a good fitting suit makes you feel awesome)
4) The knot of a tie is a good place to put your sunglasses when you're not wearing them
5) You get more respect when suited up
6) The women go crazy for a sharp dressed man

There are my top six reasons you should wear a suit. And remember what Barney says kids; "You never get your moneys worth when you wear jeans to a strip club."

A third entry...

2006-10-05T17:42:00.001-02:30

Steph has sent in another logo, complete with the changes recommended in the comments. I think this one definitely captures the title of the blog better, what with the little fauxhawked dude looking all confused with the megaphone at his side standing on a soapbox. I don't think it could be any more literal.

Still feel free to leave comments on it. But I think this may be the winner. It will take some time for me to convert to a website format and post the logo, but goshdarned it I'm going to do it. It seems much more reasonable than my harebrained "deep fry a turkey on Sunday" idea.

Updates on the best of the Soapbox

2006-10-04T17:47:00.000-02:30

Go Cats Go!
Thanks have to go out to Sheena, the Sabertooth totally slipped my mind, mainly because thats a bit much, even for me. For those of you who didn't read the comment she left it was just a reminder of a left out age bracket, the 50+. While I dispute the Puma classification I whole heartedly believe this both exists and is somewhat creepy.

Bayfriend
The age class amendment for the ladies also reminded me of a subclass of the bayfriend. The 'old dude' is like the male version of a Cougar, but with younger prey. He is usually younger than the Cougar as well, normally falling in the 25-40 demographic. I don't want any argument on this one because we all went to high school with a girl who thought her 28 year old boyfriend was so cool, leaving you to ask a) if he's so cool why is he dating a 16 year old and b) why isn't he in prison. I'll admit that this is totally a double standard based on sex but hey, if its so unfair, write a blog about it.

Skeet fights
You heard it here first! Last week the CBC and various over media outlets ran stories about this. Apparently, kids throughout Newfoundland Labrador (I left out the and on purpose to ridicule the provinces idiotic rebranding) have been starting fight clubs. One in Corner Brook even drew crowds of about 150 teens. I would like to point out that I wrote about skeet fights a week before this shit ever made the news, furthering the proof that bloggers are way more efficient at relaying the news than the actual news. I would also like to point out that skeet fight club is still completely and utterly moronic.

The first rule of skeet fight club; don't talk about skeet fight club,
The second rule of skeet fight club; don't forget to make faces and throw up the devil horns in the background of the camera shot while your buddy is being interviewed by CBC television about skeet fight club.

Go Cats Go!

2006-10-02T19:21:00.000-02:30

After a long talk with Satchmo the other night it was decided I should write a post about Cougars, Pumas, MILFs, and other classifications of the fairer sex. It was decided I should be the one to write it because of the primary research I've conducted in the matter as well as extensive secondary research online .

This isn't the first time I've considered approaching the topic. My first year in college I was given an open topic PowerPoint presentation which I originally titled "Mating Habits of the Grand Falls Cougar". However, it was decided that the instructor wouldn't appreciate it, even though, let's be honest: Penny doesn't know. Either way, now is as good a time as any to do a little write up.

Before I go on I need to make several things very clear. 1) This is based on ages relative to a guy in his early 20s. 2) Not all girls in these age groups fall into these categories, and 3) This is supposed to be funny so take the stick out of your ass before leaving comments criticizing my objectification of women.

We should start with Jailbait. Jailbait is obvious, well the definition of the term is. Jailbait itself isn't always as easy to pick out, particularly after 3am. Its the younger girls who dress and act way older than they actually are. The legal threat they pose can be countered with one simple phrase, and repeat after me; "Your Honor, if she's in the bar she's supposed to be 19. It's really the bouncer's fault."

After Jailbait there's a group that doesn't really have a name. They fall into the broadly accepted age bracket for a guy my age about 18-29. There isn't really anything funny to write here so I'll move right along.

It was at one time broadly accepted(by me) that the previous category extended right up to 34 and 35 and up was a Cougar. Recently, Satchmo enlightened me to a category I didn't know existed. The Puma is a woman between 30-39. According to Satchmo, Sally Jesse Raphael has informed the 12 people who still watch her show that this is in some way fact. I feel I know more about it than Sally, but hey, I'll humor Satch.

The Cougar is therefore defined as a woman 40 and up. I don't know how much I like this, since I think the Puma category should be eliminated and Cougar status should be achieved at 35. There is something about Cougars that most people commonly confuse, Cougars and MILFs are two different things for this one reason Cougars don't have kids. That's pretty much the only difference. Well, kind of...

The term MILF was made famous by the movie American Pie. You know what it stands for, so I'm not going to get into it. But here's the thing: a MILF has to be hot, otherwise she's not a MILF. Cougars aren't always hot, sometimes they're just sad. That's important to remember here. Also there is another stipulation a lot of people over look;

You know that hot girl you went to high school with that popped out a kid in the eleventh grade, well she's not a MILF, shes a girl your age who happens to have a kid. The trick to the MILF is grown kids who you could not possibly be the father of. That's the taboo of the MILF, someone who can get legitimately pissed off that you think their mom is hot.

I hope this little lesson better helps you better understand the different terms and their meanings. For more information Google them to see what you find. I just don't recommend doing it at work.

Halloween - brought to you by the same people as St Paddys Day

2006-10-01T21:33:00.000-02:30

October is finally here. I'm no longer jumping the gun on this whole thing and I can officially tote Halloween's awesomeness without people saying "Dude, it's only September."

I figure I should ring in the month by giving you a brief history of Halloween. See, it all started when the Celt's would celebrate Samhain (the festival, not the pumpkin headed guy from the Ghostbusters). It was the halfway point of the solstices and supposedly the one night each year when the boundaries between the dead and the living were let down. They did all kinds of kooky shit to celebrate and eventually the Christians showed up and tried to "church-up" the holiday. In 835 Pope Greg the forth decried that November 1 would be All Saint's Day, or All Hallow's Day, making the 31 of October All Hallow's Eve, or Halloween as we know it today.

The whole Trick or Treating thing goes back to the Celt's though. They used to leave out candy corn, Milk Duds, and small bags of Doritos for ghosts, ghouls, and other netherworld baddies to snack on so they wouldn't get all pissed off and stir up some shit.

In North America we started celebrating Halloween around the turn of the 19th century because up until then the puritans who founded the continent had a stick up their ass and wouldn't even celebrate Christmas because they thought it was sac-religious.

I also thought I'd throw out some historical Halloweens for you;

835 - Pope Gregory IV declares November 1 All Saint's Day.
179? - Ichabod Crane gets ownt by the Headless Horseman
1864 - Nevada becomes the 36th state
1926 - Harry Houdini dies, some creepy shit surrounds the death, but if you want to find out you'll have to look it up on Wikipedia
1938 - Orson Welles does the whole War of the Worlds thing and the entire eastern seaboard shits its pants
1961 - Peter Jackson, director of LOTR and the Frighteners is born
1963 - Rob Schneider is born - scary
1968 - Vanilla Ice is born
1978 - John Carpenters Halloween comes out, thus creating the slasher genre. Virgin's everywhere use the excuse "I want to survive a horror movie"
1984 - My first Halloween. In an event that foreshadowed my love of Halloween and childhood weight problem I take my first steps ever to walk across the room to get candy after my mom refuses to give me anymore. This is also out of protest that she dressed me like a bunny.
1993 - River Phoenix dies outside the Viper Room in LA
2002 - I get IDed 5 times in 45 minutes at Mingles when they doubt my fake ID. They couldn't prove it was a fake, but I storm out angrily and boycott the bar until I actually turn 19.
2006 - It hasn't happened yet, but it will indeed be awesome and thus deserving of being listed here.

Also, tonight I went to the Allans Video down the road and picked up a bunch of movies, so now I'll be watching along with you.

Watch:
Hocus Pocus - That movie is how Halloween's should be. You, your little sister, the hottest girl in school, and a talking cat should totally be chased around by witches and a zombie only to have you save the day and get the girl.
Van Helsing - Yeah, its not going to win any awards, but its a great popcorn movie. It combines the big three movie monsters and has Kate Beckinsale looking hot as balls in a corset and leather pants. Whats not to love?

Read:
Goosebumps - RL Stein You read them when you were a kid and they were awesome. I have no idea where any of my old ones are now, but if I did I'd totally hit that up. I remember one called "The Werewolf of Fever Lake" or something like that. Classic.

Hear:
Halloween (She gets so mean) - Rob Zombie I picked up this Halloween Hootenanny CD a few years back and this was on it. The whole CD is good for a laugh. Rob Zombie put it together and it's all kinds of Halloween themed bands and songs. He does this song with a instrumental surf band called The Ghastly Ones. Reverend Horton Heat have a song on it and Los Straitjackets do the theme from The Munsters.

Ooh competition!

2006-10-01T14:33:00.000-02:30

Roger my boy, you've got some competition!

Steph from the Snowy Driveway has also done a logo for me, and like all things related to the Driveway, it kicks ass.

It's now up to you, the good people who actually waste your time reading this shit to decide between Rogers logo.
And Stephs logo.I think it's going to be a tight race, but those of you who care can leave messages toting your favorite of the two by commenting.

I know I haven't been there for you guys lately, but there will be the weekly Halloween post later on tonight, and an in depth look the levels of Cougar-dom that resulted from a conversation with Satchmo, and that's coming up probably tomorrow or Tuesday depending how much work makes me die inside tomorrow.

So let me know what you think of the logos and check back later for #3 of the "it was a dark and stormy night..." series.

I hate my job

2006-09-27T17:27:00.000-02:30

Sorry for not posting in a few day but I've been busy wanting to shoot myself.

At 7:00am Monday morning I started my job at TeleTech, a call center in Mount Pearl, and by 7:05am began trying to think of inventive ways to kill myself. By 7:15 I wasn't worried about it being inventive just as long as it worked.

That place just drains energy from people. Well most people. My "trainer" actually thrives on the place and the diluted sense of grandeur she receives from being a "trainer". She's not even a real trainer, she's training to be a trainer. I swear I haven't been this patronized in a classroom since I was 10 years old. But luckily where she's just doing her certification we get to assess her, and believe me, it wont be pretty.

The people in the training class with me are cool enough. Well, enough of them are to make it tolerable at least on a social scale. I think we found the set crew that will be taking advantage of the two can dine for $5 at the Burger King down the road.

But back to the soul sucking, and when I say sucking, I mean in the bad, non-happy ending way. It's sad to see talented people wasting away there. A friend of mine, who referred me, is a talented writer, and he's told me he just hasn't been inspired to do any writing since he started there. I understand, because if it wasn't for this little expose berating the place I wouldn't be writing now either.

I've already gone on one new job interview since I started there, unfortunately the position I was applying for isn't available but they have me on a list. I have two more resumes out that I'm waiting to hear on and the determination to get the eff out of TeleTech before I finish the four weeks of training. I've got meetings to take and all kinds of prospects in the air. Fingers crossed people.

But all this bitching isn't helping, I've got to try to be more positive...I'm positive the place is horrible. There we go.

A couple updates-

Roger Sellars, master marketeer stepped up to the logo challenge. He did several banners for me, especially when I started asking him to tweak it for me and this is the outcome:

I think it's pretty darn snazzy. I don't have it put up as the banner yet but I do have the logo put over there in the corner. Feel free to use it if you want to link the site. And thanks again Roger!

Also, my roommate Dennis went to the Village Mall today. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he told me it was because his buddy had to go to SportChek to get a squash racket. Thus proving me awesome again.

The Naughty Factor

2006-09-24T21:16:00.000-02:30

BOO!

Scared you didn't I? No? Oh well. Either way here is this weeks Halloween entry. This weeks post is about costumes.

There's a lot of great ideas for Halloween costumes out there. I prefer the classics; your vampires, superheroes, ghosts, and monsters that kind of thing. Sometimes throwing in a popular movie character for good measure. While this year's current choice "Maverick" is indeed an awesome one, it's not really what I want. In the recent past some of my costumes have been re-hashed based on time restrictions and lack of resources. Here's the complete list:

2005 - Clark Kent (I had planned on Darkwing Duck but the costume fell through at the last minute so I re-suited up)
2004 - Don Vito Chorleone
2003 - Clark Kent
2002 - The Devil
2001 - Silent Bob
2000 - The Wolf Man
1999 - The Ghost Faced Killer (I'm not proud of the back to back Scream Killer years, but it was the late 90's and I was trying to be cool and indifferent)
1998 - The Ghost Faced Killer
1997 - Gothic Vampire
1996 - Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
1995 - The Headless Horseman
1994 - Dracula
1993 - Commander William T. Riker
1992 - Batman
1991 - Robin Hood
1990 - Dracula
1989 - Batman
1988 -1984 Pre-kindergarten costumes included Batman, the Wolf Man, a bunny, and something else, but I don't remember because I was really little

There's always the concept of multi-costuming. I mean, there's at least 2 solid nights to every weekend, and that's not counting the actual Halloween night, and possible parties throughout the week. So having a couple different costumes can't hurt. As a wise man once said, that way you "have a second chance to make a first impression."

There is a catch with Halloween costumes. Girls always have twice the costume options. This is both bad and good. It's bad because it's unfair that they have more selection than guys, but its good because the options are doubled based on the "naughty factor". This is how girls get to let down there neckline and let their slut flag fly. Not all girls take advantage of this, but enough do to make it awesome. Here's an example; a girl wants to be a witch she can be either a) a witch or b) a naughty witch. I'm not saying opting for the "naughty" choice makes you a slut, but I am saying it makes you awesome.

The Naughty Factor is something I've been praising for years, and it was even exposed on last years Halloween episode of HIMYM, which also gave me the idea for the Maverick costume. But friends will admit I've been toting the glory of the Naughty Factor for years (Byrne, I'm looking to you for validation on this).

So there you have it, the Naughty Factor. It's totally a thing.

Here is this week's homework

Watch:
The Frighteners - Before Peter Jackson became known as one of the most amazing filmmakers in the history of ever by making the Lord of the Rings trilogy he made The Frighteners. It stars Michael J Fox as a would be ghostbuster who's kind of down on his luck since, luckily for him Jake Busey shows up and starts offing people (it's important to know that Busey's character is a mass murderer who got the chair a long time before the movie takes place.) You'll notice that Busey's grim reaper like appearance is eerily similar to that of the Ring Wraiths. Either way, it should be noted that when watching the movie I noted the similar cinematography and style to LOTR only to see "Directed by Peter Jackson" show up in the credits. I only hope someday Peter Jackson and Tim Burton make a baby, because despite being a slobbish artsy nut bag, he (or she) will make the most beautifully shot scary movies ever.
Fallen - Denzel Washington stars with John Goodman in this thriller about a cop who, after witnessing the execution of a serial killer, discovers the killer was possessed by a fallen angel called Azazel who passes through host bodies by touch. Never before has someone singing the Rolling Stones "Time is on my Side" been creepier. Watch for an appearance by Codco alumn Robert Joy as one of the possessed victims.

Read:
The Vampyre - John Polidori. This one is pretty short so you'll have plenty of time to watch movies and listen to music. The background of this one is what makes it so legendary. In June of 1816 Lord Byron had a few friends stop by his villa on Lake Geneva. A challenge was issued to the guests to write a scary story. Byron wrote something no one remembers, as did Percy Shelley. Shelley's wife Mary wrote a little novel called Frankenstein and Byron's personal physician John Polidori wrote The Vampyre. The first gothic vampire story. It's about this orphan named Aubrey who winds up traveling Europe with the mysterious Lord Ruthven. I don't want to give away the plot...but Ruthven winds up being a vampire. I read an adaptation of this when I was like 10 and it holds up as one of my favorite stories.

Hear:
Witch Doctor - Mark Bragg. A local boy done good. This ain't the Witch Doctor you heard the Chipmonks squeak out when you were a kid. It's awesome though. I highly recommend checking it out. Don't download it though, buy Bear Music, support local artists.
Witchy Woman - The Eagles. You know how certain bands remind you of certain things? Well despite being the quintessential laid back California rock band, the Eagles always remind me of the fall of the year. I think it's mostly to do with how that's when their tape/CD always showed up in my Aunt Pat's car music cycle, but all the same songs like Hotel California, which is about hell, and this one, which is about, well, a witch, make for some good October listening.

Oh yeah, here's one for the phrase book.
Naughty Factor: [naw-tee fak-ter] (noun)- the doubling of Halloween costume options for females by giving them the regular option, and the naughty version of the same costume.

Ooh a contest! Exciting!

2006-09-23T15:14:00.000-02:30

It's the first ever Soapbox Photoshop Challenge!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to pimp out the logo so the Soapbox can continue its quest to not suck. I'm thinking in the near future I might make it a legitimate website, complete with a fancy bluestarscollide.com url and other fancy things.

But, before I get that hardcore with it, I need a decent logo. I like the idea of a soapbox and megaphone, and maybe someone stood on it or something. It's really up to you. But I want it all tricked out and cool looking, maybe throw some spinners on that shit or some grond effect or... not do that at all. Like I said, totally up to you. The prize for coming up with the logo has yet to be detirmined, but it will be cool, I promise.

To enter just email your logo to michaelhickey@gmail.com

"We will be what is 'up' St. John's!"

2006-09-22T15:15:00.000-02:30

So I started my internet browsing today like I do most days, I hit up the Snowy Driveway for my daily dose of hilarity via Steph's blog and the link roll. In today's link roll there was a link simply titled 'Hit Cocaine'. Of course, like all the links I checked it out and discovered that 'Cocaine' is not just a helluva drug, it's also a new energy drink that makes Red Bull look like breast milk (ie. what a baby might drink).

The stuff is supposedly 350% stronger than Red Bull, now my question to you is why is that necessary and my question to me is now, will I try it? I think no, it's not necessary, but yeah, I'll probably give it a go all the same. I won't drink it as often as Red Bull, which isn't much at all, because a) it makes me feel guilty because it's supposedly so bad for you, and just a placebo and b) I have a hard time paying over $3 for a drink without alcohol in it.

My favorite tidbit of info on 'the new coke' is that the link roll of keywords generated from the article consisted of "culture, nightlife, Lindsay Lohan". Oh then I laughed...

Check it out here.

Skeet Fights - Live at the Village Mall

2006-09-20T17:40:00.000-02:30

The Village Mall is only good for 3 things:

1. SportChek
2. A bus depot
3. Making you feel better about yourself

Allow me to explain further.

It has SportChek, something the Avalon Mall doesn't have. I play sports, mostly hockey, but other sports too, and it annoys the shit out of me that I can get everything I need at the Avalon short of hockey stuff. But that's not getting the Village off the hook because there's a bigger, better SportChek on Stavanger, and I can get to places like Future Shop and Wal-Mart if I go there, potentially killing multiple birds with one stone. So that's gone, leaving only two things the Village Mall is good for, one of them being a bus depot.

I think this is what the majority of people at the Village are actually doing there, waiting for a bus. Not just any bus either - a bus to Mount Pearl. It's the only place you can get a transfer to the Pearl from, but sending Route 21 all the way to the Avalon or UC could solve that problem.

Leaving people watching the only reason to go to the Village, and I use the term "people" very loosely.

Ok, I guess I should give you the backstory: today I did what anybody who is between work and can't get EI does...I got a job at a call center. Teletech actually. Why go to the one furthest away from me? Because getting there is going to be such a bitch it will annoy me into continuing the search for a better job. But anyway, on my way back I had a stopover at the Village to wait for the Route 1 and saw several things that brought about this post. Skeet Fights being first and foremost.

Sat on the curb outside the useless Sears (another redundant feature of the Village) was a row of total sketch bags randomly kicking the shit out of each other. This is ok in one sense because it thins out the herd, but completely and utterly idiotic in every other imaginable sense. Seriously, these dudes were pairing off two at a time and just wailing on each other and this one guy, who I'll assume was the "coach", was giving them tips. I actually heard the guy say to some dude who was pinned on the sidewalk "Get away from 'im. I don't care if you gotta bite him, just get out of it!"

It was when I finally managed to pull my eyes away from the train wreck that is these people's lives I saw Pugsley. It was this little kid, I'm guessing he was about 6 or so, and he was there with his dad or grandpa. Anyway, he was quite the pudgy little guy, and to make it all the more hysterical he was wearing a striped t shirt and had a buzz cut, making him look exactly like Pugsley from the Addams Family. It was trippy. But the kid was actually pretty cool. He came over to tell me all about the Route 5, which he just got a brochure on. He asked me what bus I was taking and then called out to me from across the parking lot to let me know it was coming.

But despite Pugsley turning out to be a pretty burnt little kid, the Village Mall sucks. It doesn't even have a fountain anymore. And it especially sucks when you're waiting for your bus and there's all kinds of weird people with windbreakers and fanny packs. Unfortunately, I have to be there at least twice a day until I get a job that doesn't suck. If you're hiring, please save me.

Skeet Fighter: [skeet fahy-ter] (noun) - Sadly, not a superhero dedicated to ridding the world of the evil skeet menace, but actually, a skeet who beats up on other skeets for entertainment purposes. Most often found in a public setting.

Pants-Down Davy

2006-09-19T13:22:00.000-02:30

I thought I was clear of it.

After a summer spent galloping around in pirate gear singing Gilbert & Sullivan I thought I was freed of my indentures and no longer had to endure piratedom.

But, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So I figured one more day wouldn't hurt.

If you swing over to the Snowy Driveway Steph has put up links to all kinds of fun pirate stuff. Including a translator, a name generator (see above), a pirate quiz (see below), and other fun pirate-y things.

Enjoy, me hearties.

You Are A Pirate!

What Type Of Swashbuckler Are You?
brought to you by Maddog Varuka & Dawg Brown

Hey, Beautiful

2006-09-18T20:33:00.000-02:30

After a long long summer it's finally here. The second season of How I Met Your Mother premiers in about an hour! I am psyched beyond repair.

When we last saw it, Ted did a rain dance so he could nail Robyn. Which he did. Good for him. But sadly, when he came home the next morning he found Marshall on the steps crying because him and Lily broke up. Sad times for Marsh. Oh, and if you read Barney's Blog, you'd have discovered that Barney's waterbed busted and he's trying to find a new bed. So that's where tonight should pick up.

I'm telling you people, this show is packing awesome. I opted out of a hockey game tonight to go over to Mercer's to watch the season premier. And if you know how much I love playing hockey, you'll realize that it's a big frigging deal for me to blow off a game to watch TV.

In the meantime try to download "Hey, Beautiful" by the Solids. The band has the show's creators in it and the last 20 seconds of the song serves as the theme to the show. *Blog five*

It was a dark and stormy night...

2006-09-17T17:18:00.000-02:30

Apparently, stories don't start like that anymore.

Growing up I was always really in to Halloween. It shared the top spot on my favorite holidays list with Christmas my whole life, and if I got presents instead of just candy on Halloween, I would have said "Santa who?"

Something I used to do when I was younger was spend the two full months leading up to Halloween prepping for that one night. I would spend that time watching all kinds of scary movies, reading scary books, and painstakingly narrowing down costume options. I would even make family members help me decorate the house for Halloween the first day of October.

Sadly, over the last few years the Halloween of my youth has been replaced by me scrambling to find a costume at the last minute and my autumns have been filled with me studying and working rather than me getting psyched for Halloween.

I decided that this year I won't let another autumn fall to the wayside. This was brought on by the fact that I'm not in school this year, and also the fact that there's a Friday the 13th in October, something I always thought made the month all the creepier. I'm going to get psyched for Halloween the good old fashioned way. Spending the next month and a half trying to scare the bejesus out of myself.

I've tentatively decided on a costume, but I'm still open to suggestions as "Maverick from Top Gun" doesn't fit in with the theme I've set for myself of having an old school Halloween. So please feel free to leave a comment suggesting a better costume.

I'm also going to make weekly updates on my quest for a classic Halloween and also making some homework for you. I'm going to make recommendations of movies, books, and songs that should get you all in the Halloween spirit. There might even be a full Halloween mix by the time it's all done.

Here is this week's list

Watch:
The Wolf Man - Lon Chaney, Jr. as the Wolf Man is pure classic. This is the way horror movies are supposed to be complete with the dry ice fog and creepy swamp with a werewolf running around.
Monster Squad - Probably my favorite movie when I was a kid. It's about a bunch of kids who have to save the world when Dracula and the other Universal Monsters show up and try to eff shit up. It's just fun.

Read:
Haunted Shores by Dale Jarvis - the Haunted Hike guy compiled a collection of Newfoundland ghost stories. Most of them take place in St John's and theres some pretty creepy stuff. Make sure to read "A Matter of Murder" about the headless ghost of Queen's Road.

Hear:
Lucky Day in Hell - The Eels. This was a song that made it into a lot of those high school-college horror movies in the late 90's. It's just got a really eerie sound to it.
Little Red Riding Hood - Bowling for Soup. This is a cover of a song by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, the same guys who brought the world "Wooly Bully". Its basically the wolf hitting on Red. It was the opening to the movie "Cursed" in a boardwalk scene that was a lot like the opening to "The Lost Boys" which you should also watch. I like the Bowling for Soup version just because its got a fuller sound, but Sam the Sham's is probably creepier.

I'm getting all political and shit.

2006-09-14T19:51:00.000-02:30

Up until now the closest I got to this blog having a political agenda was when I ratted out Soup for walking to work to set gas prices. Even that still kept things pretty light, and so all I'm going to say about the Gerard Kennedy logo that just got added is that I've met the man and I think he's the best person to lead the Liberal party, and hopefully Canada, so I'm proud to show my support for him.

That's enough of that, you want to read more about me being political you can check out "Baltimore Street" the joint blog I started today with my roommate Dennis. I'd put the link here for you, but the link is right over there (-->) under my profile and above the link for Soups rarely updated blog.

Again, I want to thank everyone for coming back to the Soapbox after a summer of no posts. If comments are any indication readership has actually improved, so as long as you keep reading, I'll keep giving you what you apparently like; "typical emo rants about useless topics."

Standing on a Soapbox: As linked on the Snowy Driveway

2006-09-13T23:14:00.000-02:30

I don't want to spread my creative genius too thin, but I've got a MySpace.

It was something I started back in January. New Year's Day to be exact. Which I think gives me a valid excuse, I was in pretty rough shape that day, and a MySpace seemed like a good idea. But it only seemed like a good idea for that one day, because the next time I posted in it was to inform the 3 "friends" I had in my network that I had started this blog.

Over the summer I stumbled onto the spaces of some people I knew and worked with and decided to give it another shot. So far I've added a bunch of friends, some pictures, and have written 2 blog entries. One saying I was going to try to update it more, and another one of excuses why I haven't.

I've done the usual things in terms of "friend" additions on MySpace. I added people I know, and a couple of my favorite bands. In doing so I also stumbled upon Himynameismark, Mark Hoppus (formerly of blink 182, currently of +44), and I added him. I felt kind of stupid in doing so, because it's not as though he's actually a friend of mine, and despite having access to message him and stuff now, I doubt I'll ever converse with the guy in any way, shape, or form. I just added him because the remnants of the poppunk skater kid I was in high school made me out of nostalgia.

But I also started surfing through other peoples "friends" networks and found other celebrities part of me really wanted to add, just for the sake of being able to. But I didn't because even I thought it would be stupid. It's not as though these celebrities are your actual friends, and it doesn't make you any cooler just because Paulie Shore is in your top 8. Ok, bad example, even if he was your friend it wouldn't make you cool. Lets say...Vince Vaughn*. He's cool.

I was thinking about posting this blog entry on my MySpace instead of this, but to be honest, I don't like it that much. I will however post a bulletin so all my "friends" will come here and read it.

*I was stuck for the name of a legitimately cool celebrity, so thanks to my roommate Dennis for coming up with Vince Vaughn.

Who's "baychick"?

2006-09-13T15:42:00.000-02:30

Well, the response to the "Bayfriend" post was overwhelming. It prompted more comments than any other entry, and I'm glad to see readership back after all summer.

One quick note about the post though. While most of the response was good, it did prompt some criticism, which I appreciate, that's how things evole and improve. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't scramble to defend myself.

While it may have seemed like it, I wasn't calling every guy from "the bay" a bayfriend. It was meant as a term to describe guys who actually fit the description and situation, and those guys are out there.

By the way, if you troop out the long distance university thing, and actually go the distance and move in together or get married or whatever, good on ya.

The Bayfriend; not just a 'rural' legend

2006-09-11T20:51:00.000-02:30

I'm about to drop some knowledge on you.

In the fall of 2001, I was in grade 12 and working at Allans Video in Grand Falls-Windsor with my friend Mole. School had just started at the College of the North Atlantic and girls from out of town were coming in out of the woodwork. This is when Mole informed me of something he had recently discovered existed: The Bayfriend.

I know you must be thinking "what the eff is Mike getting on with this time?" but allow me to explain to you just what the Bayfriend is.

When very attractive young girls leave their hometowns in search of larger venues, primarily for educational purposes they often leave behind a bayfriend. He's the guy that they went out with in high school because they didn't really have any other options. This guy is usually an idiot, prone to violence, and dependant on marijuana (but in the lame wannabe-gangsta-writing-'chronic'-on-his-belongings kind of way.) To be quite frank, the girl is always out of his league and only with him because her hometown has a population of 17 and sadly, he was the best they had to offer. Also, there's a good chance they've known each other since they were 3 years old and she knew him before he was this stupid.

Either way, the guy is a pain in the ass because he hinders her enjoyment of the post secondary experience (also known as hooking up with me).

For the past five fall semesters I've kept in mind what Mole said that night in the video store, and I've noticed it's true, the Bayfriend isn't something Mole made up to frighten me. They do exist. I think I actually was one. Well, not a bayfriend in the traditional "skeetish" standards, but after I finished high school my girlfriend went on to MUN and I stayed in GF-W, and I know my existence pissed off a lot of guys in St. John's.

OH! That reminds me, there is a way to conquer the bayfriend! Just wait it out, they're usually gone by the second semester.

So add this one to your set of Mike's Terms and Phrases;

bayfriend: [bey-frend] (noun) - male companion that has been chosen but left behind by rural female when she moves to a larger center. Usually a bit of a skeet and picked not based on compatability, but on availability. Most often extinct or endangered by January.

Back to life, back to reality...sort of

2006-09-05T15:47:00.000-02:30

So my summer in Trinity is over.

After 3 months of make beleive it's time to try to actually enter society, and I think I'm expected to make a contribution or something. This is kind of freaking me out.

I opted out of going back to school and decided that I want to take some time to explore the whole arts thing. You know, playing music, acting, writing and all that crap. Luckily I still have a college diploma to help me out with finding a day job. Got to pay the bills you know.

This summer was fantastic though. I met and worked with lots of great and talented people in some great shows. I was a soldier, a sailor, a pirate, and a tourist just to name a few. I didn't say much mind you, but I was there.

But the combination of the work I was doing and how much I'm enjoying the whole blogging thing has reinstilled a love for writing I forgot I had, and I've gotten full swing into it again. I started working on a play, I've written a monologue, and I did a sketch that unfortunately got cut for time, but I still wrote it. I also have a couple more ideas kicking around that will hopefully see a page before too long.

The last couple days of the summer were a bit rough and I was a bit rushed leaving, but that was my own fault. You can't dwell on the shitty stuff and have it ruin an otherwise good time. That's a concept the summer also solidified for me.

All that said I'm back to places where I can access the internet without having to walk 45 minutes to use dail up on a library that's never actually open, so I'll be back blogging more. Giving you, my adoring readers, a brief escape to the asinine every other day or so.

If I had a friend named Kumar trying to get to Wendy's would probably have been funnier.

2006-06-16T20:44:00.000-02:30

So I wrote about how much I love the bus way too soon. Today I had the worst Metrobus day ever, but I figure I jinxed myself.

It starts off when I have to try to get to the back of the friggin' Pearl to pick up a package from DHL because I kept missing the delivery guy. I get on the Route 1, which is supposed to take me to the Village so I can transfer to the 22 and get out to Donovan's (keeping in mind I'm still going to have to walk a good chunk of the way cause not even the bus goes to Clyde Ave). Either way, I catch the 1 at the UC, but its the wrong frigging number 1 and I missed my transfer by about a half hour, and now can't get to DHL because catching the next 22 would be too late.

I should highlight at this point that the "scary bus people" apparently like the Village Mall, because I have never seen so many freaky, creepy people as on the Route 1. And I know, because I had to take the frigging thing twice today. Thats right, the way home came via Route 1 as well. However, again, the route 1 I took was the wrong one, so after getting on it at the Village, it brought me all the way through Cowen Heights and then back to the effing Village!

2 hours later I got home and was starving, and deciding that since I'm leaving town for Trinity tonight, I'd get me some Wendy's. So I head to the UC to catch the Route 3 to the Avalon. I know, I'm a lazy bastard. I get there early and sit on a bench to wait for the bus, which of course is late, and doesn't even give me time to get outside before taking off again. At this point I'm beyond pissed off. I leave to go home and sulk/bitch when I realize the 4 will stop in front of the Arts building any second so I grab that and go get my Wendy's.

It was some good Wendy's.

I want it to be clear I don't blame Metrobus for my shitty day. It was my fault I kept getting on the wrong frigging Route 1, and well...ok, the driver at the UC who left without me is a dick. But either way, that's my first bad bus experience. I'll keep you guy's posted as I'm sure you're concerned.

Oh yeah, like I said, I'm leaving for Trinity in like...26 minutes, so I won't be posting for a bit, try not to miss me too much.

The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round.

2006-06-12T15:12:00.000-02:30

This weekend I kept it kind of low key. Friday I was pretty much useless due to a brutal hangover, so Friday night was spent going to pick up my guitar at Chill and trying to get some work done for my job this summer. Saturday night Chris talked me into going to a house party and on the way there I made a startling realization. I love Metrobus.

I knew I always liked the bus, mainly because it was cheap, environmentally friendly transportation (accent on "cheap"), but Saturday I found myself defending the Metrobus system to Mercer, who was ranting about the drivers getting off the bus. Apparently he talked to someone at Metrobus and they're not allowed to do that, but he figures they do because there's no way they can get supervisors to patrol every stop and make sure the driver stays on. I said that's bullshit. The reason the driver gets off the bus is because he or she needs to, and criticizing them for doing so is hypocritical unless you can tell me you have never taken any sort of liberties with a job that weren't necessarily there. That goes for everything from coming in late when you knew your boss wouldn't be there to being logged into MSN on the company computer.

The rebut to my argument was that Metrobus is a public service, and thus, is run for the public, and a driver shouldn't be taking a break to have a smoke if that throws off the schedule and makes a passenger late. I re-rebutted by pointing out that public service or not, the schedule states all times are estimates, and if you need to be somewhere by a certain time you should leave early enough that the driver grabbing a coffee mid route won't make you unforgivably late for wherever you have to be.

The argument went back and forth until a consensus was reached that I was right and Mercer is a wanker. This mostly comes from me being the one telling you the story, and also that the bus was ahead of schedule at the time, so his point is moot.

Now, Saturday night was basically the first time I actually acted on my love of the bus by defending its drivers, but it capped off a long and gradual build up resulting in my loyalty.

It all started just over a year ago, when I first took the bus, and discovered that it does, in fact, kick ass. It's fun. You can kill some time by people watching and taking in the sights of the city while getting where you need to be.

The random people you bump into on the bus also adds to the flavour of the commute. I have met up with old friends on the bus, met up with new friends on the bus and found people I will avoid until the day I die on the bus. The mystery of the people on the bus also adds to the enjoyment. Who are they, where are they going, where are they coming from? All questions that don't get asked, but helps you keep from getting too bored as you wait for your stop.

Last week I even took the bus to a hockey game, which after 45 minutes and a transfer turned out to be cancelled. But at least I got what I think is a funny picture of my gear in the bus shelter at the Avalon Mall.

The point of my rant is simple. You might not like Metrobus, but I do, that is why I do, and also, try to understand that the driver has his or her job to do, and them hopping off the bus for a smoke isn't that big a deal.

For more information on routes and schedules, goto www.metrobus.com, and if all goes well you'll get where you're going, and I'll get a free bus pass out of this.

Shot Through The Heart: The Barney Stinson Story

2006-06-03T16:48:00.000-02:30

Someone actually took the time to make this video.

Those who like it....are PSYCHED!

2006-06-02T15:39:00.000-02:30

You can't see me, but right now I'm crying and singing "Oh Canada" as I drink my first bottle of Alexander Keith's bought in Newfoundland.

That's right, the wait is finally over, and after 4 years of waiting and having to put up with empty kegs, fousty taps, and bars that just don't carry it, it's here. I found out last night when I was at a party and today went to the McEsso to find out for myself. My heart raced as I stormed in through the door to find that it was in fact there.

Of course, me being the lamer I am, documented the trip with pictures on my Palm Treo.

This is me carrying it home from the store.

This is it in the fridge.

This is another fridge shot.

This is me carrying it to my chair.

The first sip!

Now, I know this may not be nearly as exciting for all of you, but let me present you with a scenario:

You're me, you look forward to going to Ottawa in May so you can drink Keith's, which you can't do at home. You get there on a Wednesday, go on a beer run, and come back to where you're staying with a 2-4 which you expect to last til Friday. Since it's the first night you take it kind of easy and only drink about 5 of them. Early the next morning you get a call saying your Pop just died, and you rush home, leaving behind the Keith's. That in the grand scheme of things isn't a big deal. Pop is way higher than Keith's on my hierarchy of concerns, but still, coming home to find out that I can get Keith's here helps the greiving process.

Alexander Keith's. Those who like it, like it a lot.

Bye Pop.

2006-05-30T01:47:00.000-02:30

I know a lot of people who do the tribute blog after a loved one has passed on. I often find it to be a bit excessive because it's usually a poem, or song lyrics, or some other way to show their artistic flare for conveying grief. This puts me at a loss because last week something monumental happened that i need to write about, if for no other reason than to vent about it.

As I mentioned before last week was the Canadian Federation of Students' national general meeting in Ottawa. I've been to the past three of these and this was to be my forth and final. But after getting there Wednesday my meeting was cut short. Thursday at 5 am I got the phone call I've been dreading my whole life. My Pop had died. I immediately contacted the necessary people to get arrangements to get home and by 8 that night I was on my way back to Newfoundland.

It's a horrible thing to have to say goodbye to someone you love, especially when you don't actually get the chance to say goodbye, but I'm going to keep with what got me through the past weekend and tell you some funny stories about my Pop.

Now, one thing you need to know is that my Nan and Pop had been sleeping in seperate beds by the time I was born. This was Pop's fault. First he would snore so loud he would wake himself up and tell Nan to stop snoring, while she was sat up reading. Then came the final straw. One night he woke up and on the way to the washroom stubbed his toe, or hooked his shorts, or something like that in the bed post. He then cursed (which he did a lot) and got a saw and sawed off the bedpost...I think it was the bed hitting the floor that not only gave Nan a bad back, but also woke her up.

He also had some run ins with the family dog, Perk. He used to take Perk in the woods hunting all the time. One night Perk showed up at the house without Pop. Everyone thought this was a sign something was wrong and a search party was formed. On his way out of the woods Pop met the search party and offered them help finding whoever it was they were looking for, they told him not to worry, because it was him. He then cursed on the dog and chased him with the shotgun. Perk just hid under the table, he was used to it I think.

The dog had to hide again when Pop was learning how to drive. It was the summer of 1969 and my Aunt Pat, who already had her licence, was teaching him. As he went to pull into the driveway Perk jumped in front of the car and Pop swerved to miss him and wound up putting the car through the house. This was happening as Neil Armstrong was about to land on the moon. Nan thought he crashed into the living room. Again, Perk spent the week cowering under the table.

All this happened long before I was born, but luckily for me, I was present for some of his finer moments. Like when he was being admitted into the Health Science Center when I was 10, and the nurse asked him if he had his own teeth, to which he replied yes...
Mom: No you don't, Dad
Pop: Yes I do!
Mom: No Dad, you have false teeth
Pop: Goddammit, I paid for them, they're mine!

He also had this old clunker car that was held together mainly by duct tape and shoestring. This was where I heard him say "fuck" for the first and last time, during which he flipped someone the wrong finger. It was also in this car that he said if he won the 649 jackpot, which was about $25 million at the time he would buy himself a brand new car, and he would give my Mom the clunker. He never won the jackpot, and when he gave up driving he sold the car for $150. With $30 worth of gas in it and four brand new tires.

Now, while you might not find this as funny as I do, I guess you had to know Pop. I did know him, and I'm really glad.

First Notice of AGM

2006-05-19T19:54:00.000-02:30

Next week I head to Ottawa for the Canadian Federation of Students annual general meeting, and it got me thinking it it was time for a little policy review. So the plan is that on Friday, June, 2006 the first annual genneral meeting of the {name of group to be determined at AGM} will be taking place at my and Dennis' apartment.

This will be a time for me and the guys to come together and set out policy on the proper way to be a single, male, twenty-something who knows way too much about writing policy.

Please submit any motions for consideration via email to michaelhickey@gmail.com by Wednesday, May 31, 2006. All motions will be posted here to give delegates the opportunity to familiarize themselves prior to the meeting.

Motions served with due notice:
MOTION ACCOM01
D.Rice/C.Mercer
Whereas finding a good apartment in the city is really hard;
Whereas it is especially hard to find one in close proximity to work/school;
Whereas it is near on impossible to find one with really cheap rent; and
Whereas mismanage ment of the situation can result in eviction. Therefore;
Be it resolved that you should not have sex with your landlord's daughter.
Be it further resolved that you should not have sex with any of her friends either.

MOTION BRO01
C.Mercer/M.Hickey
Whereas this organization recognizes the age old creed of "bros before hos";
Whereas you don't want it incite drunken stories of how he hit that first. Therfore;
Be it resolved that you should never hook up with a friend's ex-girlfriend unless two conditions are met:
a) He has a new girlfriend;
b) He says it's cool.
B it further resolved that depending on the level of drunkenness the term "girlfriend" can mean that girl he's making out with at the bar but will never again, and his "saying it's cool" may refer to his not saying it's not cool. But that only counts if you're both drunk.

MOTION BAR01
M.Hickey/B.Stinson
Whereas you never bring a deer carcas on a hunting trip. Therefore;
Be it resolved you never bring a girl downtown with you.
Be it further resolved you especially never bring a date to a wedding.

Well wasn't that just Souper!

2006-05-08T21:34:00.000-02:30

Ok, I know it's been a while, but in my defense I moved, and the internet has been sketchy at the new place. But I'm hoping this means I'm back and blogging on a regular basis. It might be sketchy and the "regular basis" might not be as often as it used to be, but it's something.

So here I am, out of the frigging loop. Since I last had contact with the outside world through television or the internet the Flames were up on the Ducks 3 games to 2, and Barney was setting Ted up with a hot paralegal and pretending she was a hooker. I know the Flames blew it, but I need my HIMYM fix. Apparently the matchmaking company has found Ted a girl? I need to know these things people!

I'm not going to go all crazy and try to make up for weeks of internetlessness, but I thought I'd make a post to let everyone know I'm not dead. I had a couple posts done I was waiting to publish, like "FUHaul", and a thing about people whose MSN status is always set to away, but the UHaul rant is from like 3 weeks ago, and Steph Pelley did a post similar to my MSN one on the Snowy Driveway, you should check it out.

Anyway, I'm going to go catch up on some instant messaging, keep checking back.

SLAP! haha, blog five!

2006-04-16T14:29:00.000-02:30

After some confusion it has been decided that an explanation is in order. Me and Byrne seem to have it down but everyone else is getting it wrong, especially Mayne. S0 here is a breakdown of the ancient art of....the high five.

The classic high five: (also known as fiver) This is the standard. Its a basic, above the head, full hand contact five. Adjustments can be made to accomodate a shorter five participant, but the high five should never be below the shoulder.

The freeze-frame high five: This is a classic five with a twist, you pause when the hands make contact, generally for a two count, then release.

The stall high five: Often mistaken for the freeze-frame high five the stall is slightly different. With the stall, you pause just before hand-to-hand contact.

The phone five: The standard in long distance fives. It is as simple as slapping the phone when something cool happens in conversation, however it must be announced so both people know its happening, otherwise it's just lame.

The text five: The son of the phone five, the text five is good for quick fives, especially when stealthiness is required. The official text five messages is "SLAP! Haha, text five. Awesome!" use with caution.

The 'net five: To be used over email, IM, or blogging. Similar to the text five, but some services, such as MSN, have a special five emoticon, which can be utilized by typing (h5) into the chat window.

The fresh five: Originally from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air the fresh five is a standard high five, with an alternate follow through. Once your five is complete, you lean back from your fellow fiver, and while throwing back a thumbs up in a "get out" fashion make a "pssht!" sound.

The re-return five: The re-return is acheived by slapping the standard five, and then hitting again on the follow through without looking behind you back.

The double up five: (also known as the ten) This is a double high five generally followed by chest-to-chest contact. WARNING: Only to be used in extremely awesome situations, over use can result in it taking away from how awesome subsequent situations are.

The beer five: The beer five is known in some, lamer circles as "cheers". It can be adapted to "shot five" or "drink five" but never "cooler five", because that in itself is lame. Only at formal settings will "wine five" or "champaign five" be accepted.

The side five: This is only permitted when seeing someone in passing without the time to stop for a regular five. However, hand position must be in between the navel and nipple. Any higher should be considered a re-return five and followed through on thusly, and any lower is a low five...and that's just wrong.

The low five: I am absolutely opposed to the low five, it is not a five, it is a lackluster handshake.

There you go, a brief overview of the high five. Learn it, know it, live it.

Update on the demon wine

2006-04-15T22:53:00.000-02:30

It's 11, I've been on the demon wine for about an hour and a half now, I've got like 3-4 glasses left and it is indeed awesome....I don't know how it will be tomorrow, but right now, it's best kind. I'm watching a bunch of HIMYM before I roll out to Dooley's for some Ultimate Fighter with Byrne in about a half an hour or so. Tonight should be LEGENDARY!

You can't really call it "demon wine" if it's raspberry flavoured, can you?

2006-04-15T18:31:00.000-02:30

Ok, back story. Last night I went out for a coffee with my friend Danny, who for the last month or so has been telling me about his homemade wine. Anyway, it was finally done and bottled and he gave me a friggin' magnum of it last night.

Tonight I try it out.

It's my last Saturday in Grand Falls-Windsor before I move, so there's no way I cannot go out. Keeping that in mind, I've also decided to take my chances on Danny's wine. It might be bad, it might be good...the effects I mean, I've tasted the wine already and it's kickass. But check with me on Sunday to make sure I'm alive.

I've noticed these "journal" posts aren't nearly as fun as when I give Soup a hard time or explain how Doogie Howser invented the blog, so I'm not going to go on and tell you about last night, mainly because it sucked and describing it would also suck.

Anyway, Happy Easter everyone, I'm gone to drink some wine.

Cut the blue wire!

2006-04-13T02:21:00.000-02:30

Ok, you know when you're watching an action movie, and as MacLean, or Riggs, or MacGyver is tinkering with a bomb trying to diffuse it theres always that countdown. And you know how they always cut the blue wire and the countdown jumps from 20 minutes to like 15 seconds?

Last night, I cut the blue wire.

The plan was this. In May, a play I did last year called Broken Hearts and Broken Homes was going to be filming on the 19 and 20, and I was going to be getting $900 for this. Then I was going to move my stuff out to St. John's on the 21, fly to Ottawa for a week on the 22, and then start the rest of my life on the 28. Sounded good right?

Last night I got word that the play was cancelled. So now I was losing $900 that I was counting on for moving and stuff. I spent the next hour trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I mean, I knew I was going to have to get a job along with doing the play, but how was I going to get something decent enough to make up for the play money if I was leaving in a month? Thats when it was decided that instead of leaving in a month, I would leave in a week.

It only makes sense right? Rather than spend a month in GF-W working a crappy job and then quitting, moving to town and having to find another job, I would just move straight to St. John's and cut out the crappy GF-W job hunt.

Either way, now that the blue wire is cut I'm going to be spending the next week or so scrambling to get my shit together, and getting everything lined up. As of right now, I don't know if my apartment is going to be ready or if I'm going to have to try to get my cousin Mike to let me crash on his couch in Outer Cove. But if I have learned anything from Die Hard, Leathal Weapon, and MacGyver its that even when the blue wire is cut and the countdown jumps, things always work out at the last second.

...then again, they probably don't make the movies about the bombs that blow up.

Sorry Soup, I'm going to rat you out

2006-04-13T02:05:00.000-02:30

Ladies and Gentleman of Newfoundland and Labrador, the man who sets your gas prices walks to work.

While you probably don't know my best friend Soup, you might be familiar with David Hillier, the guy that shows up on NTV every now and then justifying why he had to raise the price of gas in our fine province. Now I'm going to let you in a secret. They're the same guy!

Anyway, Soup and his girl Julie just moved, and in doing so now live about a block away from where he works, the Petroleum Pricing Office. So by simply filling out the change of address form, Soup went from looking like a cocky bastard by rolling into work in a big SUV, to a sadistic bastard who cackles at the poor guys paying $1.13/litre to commute as he strolls down High Street.

Tonight we went out for a coffee, and while we were sat in the window at Murph's talking about how incompetent our town council is, I asked him if anyone else had noted the irony of the gas man walking to work. He said no, they hadn't and I told him I was going to have to write a blog about it.

Normally I'm really sympathetic to Soup on the shit he takes because of his job, and I'm not actually giving him any now. I just find it funny and felt it needed to be shared.

Sorry Soup, it had to be done. At least I didn't tell them you're a level 4 Dungeon Master.

I've already used "WTF?" as a title, so keeping with the first section of this post I'll simply call it "w00t!"

2006-04-11T00:14:00.000-02:30

That's it. I'm done.

I wrote my last* CNA exam today, and it was definitely an experience. With the last aspect on the Product Component Model illustrated on my International Marketing exam I bolted the hell out of the lecture hall and waited for everyone else to finish.

Twenty minutes later I start worrying that maybe I missed a section or something, but Chris comes out and assures me that I indeed had done everything, I just did it insanely fast. Within the next 20 everyone else is out and we make our plans to hit Jungle Jim's for a big supper tonight.

When I got home, prior to my awesome nap that was desperately needed I decide to check out some internet stuff when I found something I really don't know what to think of.

The Internet Movie Database posted this news story today. It turns out that Jessica Simpson has been signed on to play CJ Parker in the Baywatch movie.

Now while I'm all about the concept of Jessica Simpson running in that red swimsuit in slo-mo I'm left with 2 questions:

Why do they need to make a Baywatch movie? Didn't Baywatch say all it had to say with the TV show, spinoff TV show, and the made for TV/direct to video movies?
Why do they need to cast Jessica Simpson in Pamela Andersons role, especially if David Hasselhoff is coming back? Last I checked, Pamela Anderson was still smoking hot. Don't get me wrong, the whole seal thing pisses me off, and yeah she maybe a "little slutty" but if I have to look at David Hasselhoffs leathery ass running around on that beach, I don't mind Pamela Anderson. Keep in mind, I'm not complaining about Jessica Simpson in the swimsuit, I've already said I'm all about it. I just want to know, were the characters in Baywatch that pivitol they couldn't be updated?

Either way, the concept of the Baywatch movie leaves me confused, but now that I don't have to put up with school anymore I've got a lot more time to think about it.

* Pending my Managerial Accounting grade

Neil Patrick Harris is a visionary!

2006-04-10T02:11:00.000-02:30

It's Sunday night, well, Monday morning, I'm sure this time, and I can't sleep. This isn't reassuring since my final final is only 7 hours away. Maybe it's excitement, but either way, I can't sleep.

I almost started venting about how all this stuff is changing in my life and how weird I find everything, but instead ... instead I'm here typing full paragraphs on different topics and then deleting them. But it made me think of something kind of cool.

If you look to the right you'll see the link to Barney's Blog which is the blog for Neil Patrick Harris' character on How I Met Your Mother. Don't ask how I found it, but it's one of the funniest sites ever and to an extent it was kind of what got this blog started. But when typing I started to remember how when he was on Doogie Howser MD every episode would end with Doogie typing in his journal that he kept on his computer. It got me thinking and I realized that Neil Patrick Harris invented blogging.

So not only was he a child genious who became an MD at like 12, an E-tard that stole Harolds car and did coke off a stripper's ass, and the funniest womanizer in the history of television, Neil Patrick Harris is also an innovator in how the world communicates.

Wild huh?

Really people? You can't come up with anything funny to say about Palm Treo?

2006-04-08T19:32:00.000-02:30

Remember earlier the week when I went on my big rant about my phone? Well the replacement came in yesterday, and surprise it was a 600, meaning the fine folks over at Palm decided that three phones crapping out on me over the span of a month didn't warrant an upgrade. But even more surprisingly, this one actually works. The problem usually comes up right away when I try to use the headset, so two days of decent mp3ing definitely show promise.

Either way, I'm happy that it works, but sad I didn't get the much cooler 650 with the video and other things that would easily turn evil in the wrong hands, namely my hands.

But all the same I have my phone and not the crappy loaner which turned out not to be as awesome as a walkie talkie implies. That was a surpreme disappointment.

And with that little update and my hangover gone I've managed to catch up from missing a day yesterday, which I know must have left a serious void in your lives. I also want to remind you to check out Soup's blog. It's pretty much blank right now, but he manages to keep his blogs pretty interesting and riddled with typos, which are fun to pick on him for. Byrne has one started too and as soon as I get the address I'll post it so you guys can check it out. Apparently there's going to be a weekly web comic, which sounds pretty cool. But not nearly as cool as me being a trend setter with this whole blog thing. I know you're all thinking "sure, you invented blogging, you jackass", but keep in mind number of blogs Soup and Byrne had before I started blogging - 0, number they have since I started blogging - 2. There we go, evidence enough that my blog is in fact awesome!

I've also noticed I might be a little too liberal with my use of commas. But I did just make a sentence without one, so thats a start. And now it's ruined.

WTF?

2006-04-08T14:42:00.000-02:30

So when I woke up this morning, I thought it was Sunday afternoon. Once I realized it was in fact Saturday morning, and not Sunday afternoon I noticed the entire side of my left hand was scraped up. Not having a frigging clue what happened to me, I managed to piece this together from faint memories and the call log on my cell phone.

Around 9 me and Byrne head to the Crown & Moose and begin drinking, heavily. At about 10 we call Soup, whos come down with a bad case of vagina and won't come out with us, and we redicule him mercilessly for being such a woman.

At 11 we pay our bartab, which was way too high considering we were only there for a couple hours. Then we walk down to Brides and get provisions for part 2 of out adventure.

We grab some beer and head to my place to watch some TV as we continue our drunkeness, which is best kind. At around 1 or 1:30 (this is where things get sketchy) we head to Kellys, but theres a line at Kellys so we decide to hit Jimi Jaks. Getting into Jimis is no big deal, mainly because it sucks, and after about a half hour or so we decide to try our luck at Kellys again.

Guess what, theres a line again, and we wait for about five minutes until I make up my mind to get in. So I go around back and hop over the gate (I'm thinking this is when my hand took a beating) once I'm in Kelly's I remember nothing. I think I was talking to some girl and giving her shit for going to Keyin, but those memories are vague.

Then I woke up I discover my hand. The plate over by the computer implies I heated up the leftover Chinese food I had for supper and when I went downstairs I noticed that when I got home from the bar I took down the boughs that had been on the front rail of my house since Christmas, and that they, along with the mini lights are now in a big pile on the veranda.

That leads me to this point. At Murphs at 3:20 having coffee with Soup. Will I get drunk tonight? Yeah probably.

Those were the days...

2006-04-06T17:05:00.000-02:30

With just over a month let in Grand Falls-Windsor I’ve started to think about all the good times I’ve had here. With this there are several places around town that always equated fun and are the sorts of places that will always remind me of growing up;

· The hill behind Steve Connors house where we used to go sliding
· The bank of the Exploits River that me, Ween and Bursey scaled and almost killed ourselves on 14 times in one afternoon
· The Rock. The bar in that building may always suck, but its where my first bar was
· The G spot behind the hospital where we used to go skateboarding, I guess Sobeys’ parking lot falls in there too
· The field next to Bern Sweeney’s Irving where we used to play football
· Lind Avenue Playground, way too many good times to list
· NDA, enough said
· Joe Byrne Memorial Stadium, I played a lot of hockey there, and watched a lot of Jones’ Shield games there
· Louis John Hill, underage drinking and a summer being paid to hang out up there
· Goudie’s basement, where Our Mom’s Say We’re Cool started
· Junction Road, where I honed my street hockey goaltending skills
· EV Mall, being a mallrat at 13 was always a good way to kill a Saturday
· Goodyear Avenue ball fields broken nose, sprained ankle, and a bit of baseball
· Centennial Field, being a kid and having Great Big Sea practically baby-sit you during the Salmon Festival is definitely list worthy
· The Arts & Culture Center, too many plays and music festivals to count
· My Pops old apartment
· The basement of my house on Goodyear Avenue, this needs no explanation

There you go. The top 15 or so locations around Grand Falls-Windsor that define who I am. I’m going to miss them, but not enough to come back all that often.

How Geek Night saved my life

2006-04-05T14:09:00.000-02:30

So for some time now my friends and I have been pondering a question that reminds us of the proverbial "chicken or the egg" quandry.

Whats lamer? The fact that three of my best friends spend every Monday night religiously playing Dungeons and Dragons, or that I have nothing to do on Monday because three of my best friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons?

Lame or not, this past Monday, Geek Night saved me from myself.

As you may be aware by now, this is exam week at my beloved College of the North Atlantic, my last exam week actually, yet despite the fact that I've had a brutal semester studying is something I can't bring myself to do as much as I should. In fact, when Monday night rolled around I called Soup to go get a coffee or something, to which he reminded me it was Geek Night.

Now normally, I play hockey on Monday nights , so I forgot about Geek Night, but when Soup reminded me I was kind of greatful, because it meant I had nothing to do, so I stayed home and studied for my OB exam, something I really needed to do.

Thank you, Geek Night.

PS. Guys, if you could bust out some D&D tonight when I'm supposed to be studying accounting, that'd be super.

Now taking submissions for a deprecating nickname for the Palm Treo, ala "CrackBerry"

2006-04-03T11:17:00.000-02:30

It's actually surprising how ranting on a blog can make you feel better about a particular topic, so let me now inform you all on the wonder that is my Palm Treo 600.

I got this thing a little over a year ago and I loved it. It had everything, an mp3 player, camera, dayplanner, solitaire, oh yeah and I could use it to call people too. But either way I loved it, it went everywhere with me and I was always the first to chime in on the wonders of the Treo, and how far superior to the BlackBerry it actually is.

Then, disaster struck. I had always had trouble with the phones headset. This wasn't a big deal because I didn't mind using the speaker for music, and I hated handsfree calling. I assumed that the problem was I was trying to listen to music on a handsfree headset, and it wasn't meant for that, and hence my problem. But then I got an adapter to make it possible to use regular headphones and encountered the same problem. I realized that the issue was in fact, my phone, and decided to bring it back to The Source to get them to fix it.

This all went down in early December, at which time I should have sent it in, but they told me it would be gone for like 3 weeks and they couldn't give me anything remotely on par with it as a loaner, so I said I'd wait and left the store. In the months that passed a little spot developed on the screen. It wasn't a dead spot because it still responded to touch, but the color was gone. I decided that this enough to warrant the 3 weeks without my phone so I sent it in to be fixed with a little over a week left on the warranty.

I continue to lose my mind over the next two weeks as not only my phone is gone, but my computer is as well. This cuts me off completely from the technological world and I feel like a friggin' caveman. How do the Amish do it? But my phone does not come back, but I'm sent a brand new replacement a week early, and I get all giddy. This is also the day I order my new laptop, so I'm all kinds of psyched. Until my phone fails to upload my phonebook from the computer when I HotSync and I have to input 200 numbers back in by hand.

But a week later, the unthinkable happens, my phone stops making noise. The headset jack is now permantly recognizing headphones, and thusly cuts off all sounds to the speakers, I freak out and bring it promptly back to the Source, where I am given the same loaner phone, and sent on my way.

I get a call Friday that another replacement has been sent in, and I pick it up on Saturday afternoon. I have tinkered a bit and manage to get the HotSync thing working and I'm saved the hassle of retyping all these numbers for the third time.

This is all well and good until last night. I take my phone to the stadium as I always do, and on the way down plug in the adapter and listen to some music on my headphones, which cut in and out a bit, generally pissing me off, but my phone works, so I'm not going to push my luck. Then I come home after the game and unplug the headphones to be met by...no sound. Again.

I am now doing all in my power not to pitch my phone into the bit of snowbank thats left in the driveway. But I manage to make it through the night, and my 9am exam before walking into The Source and being met by looks of "again?!". This time however, they make an offer that I can't help getting a bit psyched over. They request that I'm given a free upgrade to the Treo 650 when they replace my phone this time, they stress the amount of shit I've gone through and how it's tainted my view of the product and all that stuff. I'm thinking "sweeeeet" but trying not to get to built up because I'm thinking that I'll probably be given another 600, which will probably crap out on me again.

At least the loaner phone this time has a walkie talkie built in, thats pretty awesome.

I got sprung!

2006-04-02T15:51:00.000-02:30

Around suppertime last night I wound up falling asleep watching The Three Amigos on cable and woke up at like 11. This meant not only was it too late to go get a movie, it meant I had successfully fucked up my sleep patterns.

Sure enough, 6 am rolls around and I'm still tossing and turning trying desperately to get some much needed sleep. I'm not sure when I actually did fall asleep, but I know it was late/early.

When I pulled myself out of bed at 2 I noticed something very alarming. While my alarm clock and CD player were showing 1:54 pm, my laptop and the digital cable guide were showing that it was almost 3. Then it hits me, Daylight Savings Time. The clocks got sprung ahead and I've wasted even more of my day than I thought, a day I could have spent watching The Three Amigos.

But what gets me on this is, what if I didn't have an internet connection or digital cable. I wouldn't know. I actually had to goto the time setting on my phone and restart it to get it to show the new time. Without all these technical advancements I would have operated on this Sunday without realizing that I had lost the hour, which I'm sure could have proved disasterous when I went to my exam tomorrow.

The media just didn't remind people this year. I don't get it. They're so focused on sensational news to grab our attention that Nancy Grace can't take the 10 seconds of her "someone might have done something to someone, but I'm going to crucify them" time to remind the world that the time is changing this weekend, I guess she knew she'd be losing an hour.

I guess they've realized what The Daily Show has known for so long, the televised news is meant for entertainment, if people these days want real information they'll read a blog.

Byrne, Soup, and I all fail to suit up.

2006-04-02T01:03:00.000-02:30

Last night I was presented with two options for the night. I could either stay at home and study* or go out and get drunk. I had some variables to consider in my equation, such as funding, night/bar preference, and chance that the Cataracts would win in Deer Lake, meaning I would have to DJ at their game tonight and drink for free.

I decided to take my chances that they would lose and go out Friday. Mainly because I like Kelly's, but also because there was going to be something at Mingles tonight I really wanted to avoid. So I call up Soup and Byrne, tell them to suit up, knowing full well they, nor I, would actually suit up, and we head over to Soup's around 9.

After consuming a fair number of beverages of an alcoholic nature me and Byrne leave Soup and head over to Kelly's, complete with a couple pocket rockets for the 5 minute walk. Unsurprisingly, we're met by a group of people at the door anxiously awaiting entry. So we wait, and after several minutes, Byrne says fuck it and goes to JimiJaks, something I outright refuse, knowing that I'm next in line to get in. The funny thing is, dude is just out of sight when the door opens up and I get let in.

Kelly's proves to be worth the wait. I continue my drinking and at about 3 the lights come on as the Cataracts walk in after losing to Deer Lake 7-2 meaning I have tonight off, and I go to walk home, but am called back to jump into a cab and head to a party. This party winds up being me, two other guys, and two women going to one of their houses and drinking Old Sam, so after about an hour of this I decide to head home.

But on my way I text Cater regarding some necessary dodginess.

Moral of the story: Cell phones should be like cars, once your blood alcohol level gets so high you shouldn't be allowed to use them.

* This blogs definition of the word study is watching TV and talking online while there is a textbook open in the room.